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Friday, February 04, 2005
Petty & Vindictive Inc.

I don't have many redeeming qualities, but if there is one thing I can say in my defense, it's that I am not afraid to piss people off, or be unpopular. Sometimes you have to say things that no one wants to hear.

For the past ten days or so, I've been getting a fairly constant stream of e-mails from some clown at one of my jobs who has set up his yearly Superbowl gambling pool. It's one of those deals where people buy squares, and people win based on the score at the end of each quarter, plus the final score. I like gambling now and then, but I don't participate in this sort of thing usually. I'd rather spend twenty dollars on food, to be honest.

Now, the industry I work in happens to have found itself under increased scrutiny in the past twelve months. I mean a lot of newly enforced regulations and other crap. Now, this will come as no surprise, but I am all for increased regulation all across the business community. After Enron, Worldcom etc, it's obvious corporate America is completely immoral. The regulation involving this particular industry isn't about accounting issues, or anything where people's livelihoods are at stake. The increased scrutiny I speak of has to do with free speech. But I don't want to go on and on about that issue. I just wanted to explain the climate I'm laboring under.

Now just this morning, I've already gotten three company-wide e-mails from this jackass about his Superbowl pool. I won't give you this guy's real name, but for sake of understanding, I'm going to call him James O'Brien. That is NOT his name, but we'll say it's ethnically similar.

Now, I suppose that people like a good Superbowl pool, but I don't live in Nevada, so I'll just have to take it on good faith that this falls under the auspices of illegal activity. It's no big deal, at least not to me, but again, being generally irritated, I have to be a cunt about it. So I reply company-wide with the following:

"I hate to be a wet blanket, but why is it my language in the workplace is under constant review, and yet we are allowed to use company e-mail to set up and run an illegal football pool? Unless O'Brien is a Native American name, I can only assume that we are treading on the ground of any number of federal regulatory bodies. My apologies for the ham-handed nature of this note, but I am unaccustomed to being the voice of reason."

Again, I send this out to everyone, because I don't give a fuck. I haven't gotten any replies yet, but since I work with people that are even bigger assholes than me, I'm sure I'll hear a number of things after lunch.

"You want the TRUTH? You can't handle the truth!"

My apologies to Jack Nicholson, but since he's a Lakers fan, fuck him too.

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posted at 11:13 AM

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