I was in Las Vegas for Thanksgiving, and had very little inclination to do any writing. Upon my return, I discover yet another statue of the Virgin Mary has been crying. Well, I know how she feels.

This time around, the statue has red liquid that appears to have dripped out of it's eye. There are many reasons why this bothers me.

1) People actually seem to believe that a statue made out of rock is able to emit liquid.

2) That it is, in fact, a miracle.

3) That it is not quite obviously a hoax.

But what should scare the "believers" the most, is that, if they are right, the Virgin Mary is CRYING BLOOD. This is not a religious event. This is a horror movie. Make your own joke about the Catholic Church, I'm not your joke-monkey.

Believe it or not, I'm not a religious person. Still, I should think that if one of the statues I worship (graven images anyone?) started oozing blood, I would have to consider this to be a very bad sign.

Catholicism is a fun religion in general, especially as seen from afar. I'm not going to take this opportunity to rail away at the pedophilia, although it's certainly horrible. It's just interesting, what with the pageantry, the costumes, the gold, statues, and superstitious hand motions. It's a hoot.

But the crying statue thing has to stop. Between this type of crap, and seeing Jesus on underpasses, tortillas, you name it, one has to question the sanity of anyone who would believe that this is how Jesus would choose to appear to his people. Of course, the church will not allow the ooze to be tested, so this "miracle" is safe. No need for science! We'll Intelligent Design the answers out of it, for sure!

The other night, Senate Democrats pulled a little known maneuver which sent the Senate into a secret session. During this two-hour meeting, Democrats demanded to know the status of the Intelligence Committee's investigation into the White House's run-up to war in Iraq.

Over a year ago, Democrats asked the Republican leadership for a report, and Republicans declined, stating that it was too close to the election to get into. Well, it's been a year, and for some reason, Congress just doesn't seem interested in finding out who is responsible for the volumes of bogus information that George W. Bush used to justify a pre-emptive attack on a helpless Iraq. The result of this action by minority leader Harry Reid, is that a bipartisan committee of senators will report on the progress on November 14th. So, something may yet get done, apparently.

The part that absolutely sends me into fits of giggling is the reaction of Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist. Now, Frist is a bright guy, a doctor even, and he is certainly thinking about running for president in 2008. But apparently, he has been inside the big dome for a little too long, just based on his reaction to the action taken by Democrats.

"This is an affront to me personally," said Frist, a Tennessee Republican. "This is an affront to our leadership. It is an affront to the United States of America, and it is wrong."

An affront? Who speaks like this? I'll tell you who. Royalty. People with a sense of entitlement. Your social and economic betters who believe they should never, ever have their motives and actions questioned. How dare they!

People who work for a living don't suffer from effrontery. We may be offended, or belittled, or lectured to by pompous windbags like Senator Frist, but rarely are we in a position to be affronted. Affront costs, baby.

And the Republican leadership complains of this being a stunt pulled by these unscrupulous Democrats, and I suppose it is. When you have been squelched at every opportunity while trying to investigate possible criminal acts and conspiracies, I guess you may have to turn to desperate measures. Not that the Republicans know anything about stunts.

The President's poll numbers are down! Quick! Raise the terror alert level to magenta!

The middle class wants affordable health care! Get a flag burning amendment on the floor!

We can't find the guy who attacked us on 9/11! Start a war with Iraq, and make up any evidence you need to justify it!

Pot? Meet kettle.