Can I kick it? No, you can't.

A double dose of Imus-olicious news today, as it was announced that he had settled his breach of contract lawsuit against CBS for firing him earlier this year. Right before he was canned, he had just signed a new $40 million dollar deal to continue his radio show. No details were released, but I'd guess he's going to get a lump-sum check for about half of that amount, and as with settlements, it's tax-free, babycakes.

The other bit you need to know is that one of the Rutgers players that Imus made fun of is now suing him. Right, no one saw that coming.

Kia Vaughn, who has not felt the need to sue her mother for naming her after a crappy car is, however, suing Don Imus, his producer, Bernard McGuirk, and CBS for "damage done to her character and reputation." Despite the fact that no one knew for sure that she was a money-grubbing opportunist until today, this is not the allegation that led her to file suit.

Imus, you probably recall, in a now iconic bit of semi-alliterative flourish, called the Rutgers women "nappy-headed hos." The upshot?

"Vaughn was humiliated, embarrassed and publicly mocked for the comments." Additionally, her attorney, Richard Ancowitz, said, "The full effect of the damage remains to be seen. This is about Kia Vaughn's good name," Ancowitz said. "She would do anything to return to her life as a student and respected basketball player - a more simple life before Imus opened his mouth on April 4."

Ahh, the simple life...

The sort of life where you go to class a few hours a week, practice hoops a couple hours a day, and the world unfolds neatly in front of you.

But since Imus made his stupid remarks, now she has do these things with the added burden of worrying about a frivolous lawsuit which she can't win. The pressure, anguish and disappointments will be substantial. Someone has to pay. From the article:

'Ho' is a slang term for a prostitute. After the comments were made, Vaughn said at a news conference: "Unless they've given 'ho' a whole new definition, that's not what I am."

Great, you're not a prostitute. I'm assuming you knew that before the incident, and probably weren't shocked to find out that you actually were a prostitute, because, you know, you aren't. And I support that.

I would not even go so far as to mention the inconvenient fact that you trade on your physical abilities and are well compensated for your efforts. That's beside the point.

If a fan in the stands had yelled at you and your teammates the exact thing that Imus had said, would you sue the fan? Of course you wouldn't, because first, and most importantly to you, he's not some rich asshole. The other inconvenient problem for your litigious streak is that this is the United States of America, and your hurt feelings don't amount to a jack squat.

Miss Vaughn, you are going to be a junior (not a term to diminish you, please don't sue me) at a fine university this year. In all likelihood, given your career thus far, you will probably be asked to play basketball professionally when you leave school, and after that, should enjoy a fine post-basketball life. Your whole life is ahead of you, and you want to be known for this? Being Don Imus' punch line is the legacy you desire? Get over it, Kia. I didn't even know your name before today, and now it is spit from my mouth like an epithet. Just get on with your life, and make a name for yourself in your own way. You're not a ho. Stop acting like one.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007