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Saturday, April 10, 2004
I still haven't done my taxes

I'm not sure what day it is, but I know it's close to April 15th, and I haven't filled out my tax returns yet. Taxes are one of those things that no one really likes to pay, but you sort of have to if you want to live in a civilized society. Want the cops to come when thugs break in to your house? That costs money. Want the fire department to show up when your ex tries to set your car on fire? That costs money. You prefer that the bridge you are crossing not collapse as you cross it? Well, it ain't free, fucko.

I'm not in love with the idea of shelling out of every check. But in spite of what the president believes, Jesus Christ doesn't fix potholes, and he's also not going to educate your kids for free in a school he conjured up by waving his hands around. This is the real world, and things cost money.

Is there waste? Of course. I'd like to see a legitimate commission that investigates and prosecutes fraud in the area of taxpayer money. I suppose there already is one, but no one seems terribly petrified of it. You're building a road and are 20% over budget? Better have everything itemized, or you get fifteen years in a nice pound-you-in-the-ass prison, which ironically, your taxes paid for. Don't worry though. Taxpayer money will provide you medical care for the random shankings you receive from the Aryan Nation Brotherhood inside. And we segue to...

Health Insurance

45 million Americans don't have it. You get sick? Fuck you. Broke your ankle? Learn to limp. Acute appendicitis? Better pick out a cute coffin, because you are going to die. The odd thing is, the fundamentalist so-called Christians who run this country don't really care. This is the only time they believe in Darwinism and survival of the fittest. What Would Jesus Do? I guess he'd better go get an MBA, because without health insurance, stigmata can become infected very easily.
We claim such superiority over European nations and their socialized medicine, but here's a fact: They outlive us. They also have caught up and even surpassed Americans in height. When Jefferson was in Paris in the late 18th century, the Americans were nearly a head taller than their counterparts. They had been raised on food farmed in good soil, whereas the Europeans were getting crap from their tired dirt. Well, thanks to improved methods, they spent the last century catching up, and now the average Dutch man is six feet tall, and the average American man has gone from 5'10" to 5'9'. So many Americans eat cheap, nutritionally worthless shit all the time because they are too poor to eat properly. This the type of thing that strikes me as a national emergency, and dare I say, an imminent threat.

In a side note, please remember that you may not drive a car in this country unless it is insured. Still think you have more value than property?

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posted at 8:37 PM

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