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Wednesday, October 03, 2007
This and that, 3 October 2007

Airline delays in August were at an all-time high. AUGUST. The report would have been made sooner, but part of it was sent to Houston.

This morning, President Bush vetoed the bill to provide health care to kids. Yes, American kids. Don't worry, parents, the government has a program to provide your children with health care once they turn 18. It's called the US Army.

How bad of a mother do you have to be for a court to award custody of your kids to Kevin Federline? I guess Britney will have to go back to using normal airbags while driving.


Several states are considering seceding from the United States. I'm not in favor of another Civil War, but at least if it happens, there isn't any Habeus Corpus in danger of being suspended.

Poland's envoy to Iraq was wounded. I haven't read the story, but I assume the accident occurred while changing a light bulb with about 15 other guys.

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posted at 6:33 PM

1 comments

Thursday, September 27, 2007
The SCHIP hits the fan

The State Children's Health Insurance Program funding bill made its way through Congress this week. It is pretty much what it sounds like, and it's one of the more successful programs initiated in the last decade. So given that fact, and also that wages are stagnant while medical costs skyrocket, some people thought it might be a good idea to expand the program to another 10 million kids. I know, it's crazy.

Guess who is going to veto the legislation, cutting off funding to even the current beneficiaries of such largesse, a.k.a. poor kids?

That's right, the compassionate conservative himself, President George W. Bush.

How can he do such a thing? It's easy, because he says the program "is an incremental step toward the goal of government-run health care for every American."

Now, who you are is defined by which part of that sentence you gravitate toward.

If you are a conservative, you see "government-run health care."

If you are a liberal, you see "health care for every American."

At this moment, I have medical insurance through my job, so I'm luckier than a lot of people who have no job, or have jobs (plural) which do not offer insurance. I pay a great deal for it, and in comparison to other insurance I have had, it's not really all that great. I have only the brochure's word for it that I will be treated if I actually get sick, but I have seen enough bastardry from that industry to be skeptical.

If the quality of the furniture in my doctor's office declines slightly because he is being reimbursed by a government agency instead of a for-profit insurance conglomerate, I will not just live with that, I suspect I will flourish. And so will all of the other Americans who can get medical care.

This is not bleeding-heart do-goodery. I am a misanthrope, and think the world is ridiculously overpopulated. That being said, I'm pretty sure it'd be more economically feasible to let people see a doctor when they have the flu rather than hospitalizing them when they have pneumonia. It's a cost/benefit analysis, and prevention is always cheaper than treatment. You want to see your taxes spent more judiciously? Make damn sure that children get their vaccinations, and then when your dumb ass breaks your leg skiing, you won't have to wait fifteen hours in the godforsaken emergency room, because people with preventable conditions and no insurance now require immediate treatment. WHILE YOU WAIT.

If state-run insurance is so awful, why do people in the countries that have these programs outlive us, and generally also pay less for their medical costs, including taxes? Please feel free to quote me statistics, I live for that shit.

Please don't quote me any statistics.

I am not a Christian, and I don't believe in god. I don't think that I am amoral. Morality exists, whether god does or not. And the golden rule still covers most things as far as I'm concerned. If you are someone who believes the teachings of Jesus, how does that jibe with your modern "Greed is Good" conservatism? I'm not saying you need to wear sandals and sleep in a tent, but maybe what helps others with less is ultimately good for all of us?

In 2007, it is abundantly clear that the free market has failed to produce satisfactory results in two areas: Health care, and fighting wars. 180,000 "contractors" in Iraq (Contractors! Like they're repairing the roof!) in addition to 165,000 US troops, and we are no closer to a self-sustaining Iraq that we were three years ago, or will be in another three. You can't fight this war with mercenaries, no matter how well paid, and you can't keep 300 million people healthy when profit is mandatory, and stockholders get bigger dividends when people with cancer are denied treatment.

There are some things that are so damned big that the government needs to do them. Sorry, but that should be obvious by now. If you have a free-market solution, please explain it to me, and spare me you tax credits for medical expenses. I'm not sure how those help people that can't pay for treatment in the first place. I know, I know, they should all let their accountants handle this stuff.

So go ahead, George, you silver-spoon never-worked-a-day-in-your-life elite, veto the bill. Dump it. Tell the people with kids that they're better off without insurance in a free market than they would be with insurance provided by the government. You push that argument right through election day next year. You will hand the Democrats a veto-proof majority, and the White House for good measure. If you think SCHIP will cost a lot, wait til you see what these moron Democrats come up with when there is no longer an effective opposition.

Veto it. Keep vetoing it. And enjoy the Rovian Permanent Minority you will usher into American politics for your party.

Veto it.

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posted at 11:37 PM

4 comments

Saturday, May 19, 2007
A Thousand Dollars

I was at McDonalds earlier today, because I was in the mood for crap. I like crap sometimes, and with that being said, I ordered a Minty Mudd Bath shake. It was delicious, although the color more resembled phlegm than anything else.

As I was ordering, I heard two impressively loud belches from behind me in the seating area. Now, to no one's surprise, I am amused by bodily noises, although more so in the privacy of my home than where others are eating. So, I turn around to look at the guy, and I just wanted to cry.

I get my cup of sputum, and go sit down. The belching guy is still there, although now he is talking in an unnaturally loud voice to his dining companions, one of whom appeared to be a friend, and the other his classy lady. The few chunks of witticism that I understand are bellowed in full white trash-speak, and I am unable to tear my eyes from this man's face. I would guess he was between twenty and twenty-five. He was fully un-self aware. I did a quick estimate of his IQ at 85, tops.

Don't think that this is a simple case of intellectual snobbery on my part. The average IQ of human beings is 100, and by default, half of the people in the world have an IQ less of than that. One out of every two people you see every day is below average. It's not a judgment, only statistics.

After the party had finished its post-meal conversation, belching guy and his girlfriend displayed no uncertain affection for one another, and the urge to weep overcame me once again.

These two are going to reproduce.

I am not a wealthy man, let's be clear about that. But I was honestly very close to walking over to their table and making the following offer:

"I would like you to join me at an attorney's office on Monday. We will draw up a contract which all parties will sign, to the effect that if neither one of you has any children in the next five years, I will at the end of that period pay you one thousand dollars."

I could save a thousand dollars in five years, I'm pretty sure, and I think maybe other people might even contribute to my new cause. But a grand isn't that much money, really, so I thought maybe ten thousand might be better, not that I could afford it.

But what about the government?

We are tested all the time in schools, graded, evaluated, you name it. The government knows who the morons are out there. Why can't we offer people money to not breed, at least in the short term? This isn't sterilization, it's not permanent, and it's not eugenics. Can't we simply pay the least capable would-be-parents to at least hold off until they are a little more mature? Can't we put off the production of some stupid babies for a little while? At least in the woman's case, we narrow the window of fecundity a bit. She may still end up with eight kids, but she'll have a hard time making it to twelve if she waives five of her childbearing years.

The savings would become evident very quickly. I am not criticizing people without health insurance, as I frequently fall into this group. But it isn't people who work for Fortune 500 companies who get knocked up without insurance, an income or some means of support.

Ten grand, tax free at the end of five years, just for not having kids. This is a good deal, for the stupid, and for America.

If anyone has any idea how the hell you start up a government pilot program, please leave a comment. And if you have any idea of how to write up the proposal without using the word "morons," that will help, too. Many thanks.

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posted at 7:28 PM

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Sunday, April 01, 2007
Where are we?

I don't know why this topic popped into my head today, but I am not being influenced by the date, and that is all I can say for certain.

I guess I was thinking about 9/11 a little bit today, which I don't do very often, like most Americans, I suspect. I was watching television, and I saw Ari Fleischer from some old White House press briefing, and it took me back to just how much he used to irritate me. It was still kind of early in Bush's presidency, and I wasn't yet used to the fact that the administration would just say things that were either incomprehensibly stupid, or patently false.

Oh, sure, by the time Scott McClellan took the job, I was almost immune to the lies, and was hardly ever throwing things at my TV anymore. Hell, by the time McClellan left the job, I actually felt bad for him a lot of the time, having to stand there, defending the hypocrisy and immorality of the Bush White House. Ugh, it was cringeworthy.

But Fleischer seemed to really enjoy making things up, and spouting talking points, particularly just after 9/11, when the entire administration was puffed up and fake brave. It was a strange time for a lot of people, and I remember a lot of people were actually in a state of mind, asking themselves, "when will it be okay to laugh again?" Everyone was watching what they said, except Bill Maher, and you recall what happened to him.

It sounds ridiculous, but it was hard to find anything funny and topical on TV or the radio right after 9/11. There was a lot of speculation that "irony was dead" and it was time for America, and especially smug prick Gen Xers like myself to start taking things seriously. This was our Pearl Harbor, our JFK assassination, it was like the time I could have met Mr. T at the mall. The entire day I kept saying, "I'll go a little later. I'll go a little later." And then when I got there, they told me he'd just left. And when I asked the mall guy if he would ever come back again, he said he didn't know.

It was pretty terrible, is what I'm saying.

But these many years later, irony isn't dead, which is good for the most part. Irony is a bit overused, and I think most people should leave it alone, but in the right hands, it can still do a lot of good, like a scalpel in the hands of a skilled plastic surgeon.

On the down side, any national sense of purpose that we had (or pretended to have) after 9/11 is long gone, we are mired in an insurgent war in Asia, the administration has been exposed in nearly all areas as criminal, malicious and incompetent, and like on September 11th. 2001, I am without health insurance.

I don't need nostalgia. I live in George W. Bush's America, where things don't change, and when they do, it is only to somehow become markedly worse.

So irony is not dead. Roger Rosenblatt, writing in Time magazine just after 9/11, was completely wrong. Baby Boomers all think that they are the center of the universe, and I suppose Rosenblatt is no different. I've gone on and on about this giant demographic, in numbers and in weight, often enough that I need not rehash it here. Boomers like Rosenblatt crave the good old days, when men were men, America was #1, and people knew their place. You know who I mean...

Well, it's the 21st Century, the Boomers are starting to hit their Viagra years, and the United States, in many measurable ways, is in as bad of a condition as it's been in many decades. I don't care to listen to the opinions of the people who have been fucking up my country for the past couple of decades. Your choices and actions from adolescence up to now have been consistently and tragically wrong, and you can't be placed in substandard retirement housing quickly enough to suit me.

To be fair, I can't imagine any of my generation being able to run this country at any point in the future. We have been raised with diminished expectations, and even I can admit that people like that should not be put in charge of too many things. Although certainly Bush and the rest of us would have been better served had he not been told as a child that anyone can grow up to be president some day.

So irony isn't dead after 9/11. The only thing that has truly expired is the credibility of people like Rosenblatt to say that the younger generations are soft, and don't know anything about hardship.

Stay skeptical. These people know nothing.

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posted at 12:25 AM

1 comments

Thursday, March 24, 2005
Finally, some sympathy

I feel horrible for everybody involved in this Terry Schiavo fiasco. Her husband and parents have had to deal with a nightmarish ordeal ever since she had her heart attack and suffered brain death fifteen years ago. It's something no one would ever want to confront, a loved one essentially taken away in the prime of life. I can sympathize with the parents not wanting to let her go, but for them to drag this thing in front of dozens of judges is just wrong.

Again, their intentions are honorable, and undoubtedly stem from love for their daughter. But they allowed allegedly small-government, free-market conservatives to make political hay out of their daughter. She makes for a vivid prop for these compassionate men and women, who honor life so much by sending youth off to Asia to kill and be killed, and America's working poor to struggle with no medical insurance. As Jon Stewart pointed out this week, at least we finally know just how bad your health has to be before Congress and the president give a flying fuck about you. I hope it never comes out that Terry Schiavo had an abortion when she was 17, although I'd love to see these hypocrites try to spin it.

So, we need a scorecard to keep track of what sort of life is valuable, and what kinds aren't.

American 22 year old soldier: Fuck you, buddy.

American 22 day old fetus: Help me, Jesus!

45 year old who killed his family with an axe: Fuck you, buddy.

Elian Gonzales: Help me, Jesus!

Working mom with no insurance and appendicitis: Fuck you, buddy.

Brain dead woman from a state with a lot of electoral votes: Help me, Jesus!

African caught in tribal genocide: Fuck you, buddy.

Iraqi caught in American bombardment: Fuck you, buddy.

Mexican dying in the desert trying to emigrate: Fuck you, buddy.

Chinese suffocating in a shipping container: Fuck you, buddy.

I suppose it is callous to point out that some life is more important to our Moral Christian Cabal than certain other types of life. It's plainly the truth, though. I am American, but I cannot buy into the notion that American lives are more valuable than others. Would I rather save 9 year-old kid with liver failure than some rapist in prison? Of course! Even the death penalty makes me ambivalent. Sure, I like revenge as much as anyone, but since it isn't a deterrent to crime, what's the point? It's an uncivilized act of revenge, dressed up in pretty state-sanctioned wrapping paper. Let me say this again: I have no moral qualms about ending the lives of our worst criminals. I would like to see it extended to cases of gross white collar crime, a la Enron, Tyco, etcetera, ad nauseum. You put Ken Lay in Old Sparky down in Austin, I'll bet Wall Street falls into line in about half a fiscal year.

But what of poor Terry Schiavo? First of all, I am getting a living will now. Terry did not have one, and we are left where we are. In cases like these, the spouse makes the decision. Michael Schiavo claims his wife had commented that should she be incapacitated in such a way, that she would not want to be kept alive artificially. I just can't think of any reason why he would lie about this. Even if there was some sort of huge insurance payout, is anyone really trying to claim that he is this cold-blooded? He loved his wife. Michael Schiavo is not Scott Peterson, and it absolutely sickens me that certain groups are trying to portray him in such a light. Keeping his wife alive is a selfish decision from every angle. His wife is gone, the person who was Terry Schiavo is dead. It's tragic, and he isn't even allowed to grieve and try to gain closure, while at the same time being painted as a killer by people who should know better.

Allow Terry her dignity. Let her die, and be at peace.

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posted at 9:39 PM

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Thursday, February 10, 2005
Watch as I save Social Security

Lots of horseshit floating around about Social Security these days. The truth is, the only thing wrong with the system, is that it doesn't pay out enough. The "crisis" which will occur, if absolutely nothing is done before 2042, is that there won't be enough to pay full benefits at that point. I can solve the problem in one sentence:

Raise my Social Security tax a dollar a week.

There I did it. I'm not even going to suggest that rich people should pay more. I'd like to think maybe it would occur to someone with money to give up, hell two bucks a week, but I don't want to engage in "class warfare" by picking on the defenseless wealthy among us. I pity them so much.

A buck a week from all working people leaves Social Security solvent for another 200 years. My alternate solution is to start killing Baby Boomers.

What on Earth could make you say such a thing? Well, let's take a look back...

Right up until 1945, Americans had a trait called personal responsibility. We preferred to be left alone and not bothered by the government, domestic or foreign. But when it was time to step up, Americans sacrificed, shed blood, and did what was necessary to fight for our country. From the Revolutionary War, to the Civil War, World Wars I & II, and all the skirmishes in between, America sucked it up, and stepped to the plate, right up until Germany and Japan were defeated in 1945.

Then the soldiers came home, most of them still in their twenties, and they had earned some normalcy. They had done nothing less than save the world, and the time had come to live the American Dream. They got married, and they bought houses, and they started having kids.

What irony that perhaps the most selfless generation would give birth to the most selfish generation.

These children grew up during the rise of the economic fortune of the Middle Class. They went to school, they came home, and for most of them, life was pretty comfortable. That's pretty much life the way you'd want it.

These Boomers came of age in the 1960's, and they decided that this beautiful world that had been handed to them, still wet with the blood of the previous generation, wasn't good enough. And I'm not talking about the heroes of all shades who marched for civil rights or other just causes. I'm talking about the shiftless bastards who decided that being 18 or 25 or 30 didn't make them adults. Childhood had to be extended for these children, because they were soft. So, they spent ten or fifteen years high and or drunk. Of course, when they started having kids of their own, all they had for you was "Just say no!"

"Oh, sure, the 60s and Disco were great times, and the drugs were phenomenal, but make sure that you never EVER try them! Same thing with casual sex. Just because your parents were slutty trash didn't make it right."

Hypocrites.

And even when their war started, the ones from the "best families" all took a pass. So much prosperity had allowed this myopic generation to go to college, unlike most of their parents, and they clung to it, suddenly filled with the spirit of learning.

"Hmm, stay in school and get high, or go to Vietnam and fight for my country. Fuck it, let the poor kids do it."

Yeah, I'm talking about the goddamned President and Vice President of The United States. But I'm also talking about Bill Clinton and the thousands (millions) of other kids who skated because Daddy was a Senator, or Mommy came from a family that mattered. These people, to quote Dick Cheney had "priorities that lay elsewhere." So as usual, the working class and the poor got to go wade in the shit.

The 80s came along. Some sobered up a bit, but many weren't quite ready to quit the cocaine binges. Wall Street went crazy and this the progeny of great men and women decided to make greed a virtue. Get all you can, as fast as you can. If you can't get rich, you're stupid. By 1990, these spoiled pricks were in positions of power all through American government. They made deals with auto makers and oil companies, and SUVs happened. Finally, a 45 year-old woman living in the suburbs had a 400 horsepower vehicle that could scale a sheer cliff! The fact that it would never get any closer than three feet to a speck of dirt was hardly important.

Once again, it was all about them. Cut down trees, use up the oil, who cares? They realized they weren't going to live forever after all, so they may as well use up as much as they could. Locusts, nothing more.

They also found religion. And "morals." All those years of telling their parents how wrong their values were, and they ended up more conservative that their parents.

"God must love me. After all, he made me the center of the universe."

And now, the same kids who ran from war when it was their turn, have grown consciences, and wish to fight a Crusade against people who pray differently. And by the way, these 40 and 50-somethings are perfectly content to, once again, let the poor kids fight for them. And they have certainly seen to it that we have a huge supply of poor to go this time around. It's a long term strategy, and it's been in play for almost 25 years now.

And it's the same with Social Security. They know they won't need it. Boardroom thievery and sweetheart deals have allowed these miscreants to sock away huge nest eggs. Sure, a lot of people lost their jobs, their homes, or their medical insurance, but that wasn't important. The Boomers got theirs. They don't need a government pension, so they're going to take away yours. They plan to invest all of this money in the stock market, further enriching themselves and their cronies, regardless of the fact that it will undoubtedly be nothing more than a government-approved Ponzi scheme. You may lose all of your money, but the guys holding stock will be just fine, so don't worry.

These are greedy people who justify their avarice with the Bible. They are the worst kind. It is not enough that they already have theirs; they want what little you have for themselves as well. A solution that would cost them a dollar a week is too high a price to pay to ease the suffering of people they don't know, and don't care to know.

Look at it this way: Millions of working people get no medical care. Ultimately, their lives will be shortened as treatable conditions will become life-threatening problems. There will be no safety net. They will die, many before they reach 65. A good 21st century conservative would undoubtedly reply, "See? Problem solved."

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posted at 10:33 PM

0 comments

Saturday, November 06, 2004
Very Sleepy

That's how I feel, but I've been slacking on the blog, so I wanted to let you know I hadn't killed myself. I've been working a lot of hours, and let this thing fall by the wayside. But I'll try to do better.

As for the election, it's finally over, and that's good. Having hope for change was kind of wearing me out, and now that Bush has his "mandate" (according to Dick Cheney), and has earned "political capital, which I intend to spend" (according to himself), I can pretty much officially give up. The brain tells me that things are going to get even worse, and yet...

Karl Rove is a genius. He knew that by appealing to the worst instincts of the Republican base, he could get even poor white trash to vote contrary to their own economic interests. That's actually quite an accomplishment, if you think about it. This administration has spent four years demonstrating, with no hemming or hawing, that it is only interested in making things simpler for corporations and the wealthy who own them. And we all understand why people who have to work too hard to stay even ended up voting the way they did. It's been examined to death, and I won't rehash it now. Yeah, the lowest common denominator thing again...

But now that the suckers, ah, the people have spoken, what happens next? I'm no optimist, as regular readers may have divined. But the part of me that still has hope (for some reason) wonders about the following scenario:

George W. Bush was appointed to office by the Supreme Court in 2000, after losing the popular vote. He spends four years, assisted in his quest, if we are to be blunt, by Islamic terrorists, scaring the hell out of Americans, and gutting the civil liberties of those of us too stupid to be moved by fear. He appeals to bigotry and ignorance in many forms, and Real Americans turn out in record numbers on November 2 to save our land from towel-heads and damned liberals.

George has no more elections ahead of him. He has no reason to pander to anyone. I'm sure Ralph Reed feels he is owed something, but in reality, has no way to collect it. So, what if...

What if George decides to appoint moderate judges for the inevitable vacancies that the Supreme Court will have open before 2008? He can always tell his base that he is being statesman-like by compromising, and they believe everything their told, anyway. So, maybe?

What if George decides to go back to the UN and make a pitch for a multilateral effort at ridding the world of terrorists? Would they listen? I just don't know. The problem is, that the world is a big set of scales, and America is the largest thing on them. And as scales wish to stay balanced, the further America moves away from balance, the rest of the world lines itself up in a manner to counterbalance our position. If everyone looks to be moving away from us, well, we're moving away from them, too.

My optimism has limits, of course. Will George start trying to help Americans get good jobs and improved health care? I doubt it. Why should he? This administration has been quite clear in it's disdain for the working man, and they ran out in droves to re-elect him. So, I can't even hope for improvement in an economic sense. The stock market is more important than the supermarket, and ultimately, I can't really afford to dabble in either.

In the meantime, I will take solace in the pending resignation of John Ashcroft, who as Bill Maher speculated, wanted to get back to his first love, "standing on a street corner, ranting about the coming end of the world." I'll be glad to see him go, although we look to be burdened with the so-called Patriot Act for the foreseeable future. Small victories, I guess I should take them where I find them.

So, I probably won't watch too much TV for awhile, and that's likely a good thing. I'll try to discuss other things in this forum, although I probably won't. I'm still pretty irritable, but I am working hard at becoming resigned. And I'm told that I can always find peace in Jesus, and for better or worse, I don't have to even look for him. Apparently, the FBI has already given him my address.

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posted at 11:59 AM

1 comments

Thursday, September 23, 2004
I Feel Fantastic


I guess I do, anyway.

This morning, for the first time in nearly four years, I went to the doctor for a physical. The reason for the delay, naturally, is that I spent most of that time as one of the 45 million uninsured citizens of the world's wealthiest nation, which is run by Christians. Still trying to get that one to jibe. Anyway...

I made this appointment three months ago. That was the delay, three months. But I figure, it's an initial visit to a new doctor, and it's going to take a little extra time, which is good. Any number of things on me may be failing, and I am prepared to take the time to see what they might be. My appointment was for 8am.

I arrive at 7:45, like a reasonable human being. I pay up front (naturally), and I sit my ass down. At 8:05, a fat old guy walks in, exchanges pleasantries with the receptionist, and breezes straight back to see a doctor. After all. he had an 8am appointment, too. Same thing with an older woman that wandered in. Well fine, they seem healthy, but maybe they really have a more urgent problem. Go ahead!

At 8:25, I am summoned back by a pretty Asian lady, who I believe was a resident doctor in training or something. So, I get weighed and measured, and head back to the little room. She checks my blood pressure and pulse, which incidentally were not relayed to me, the fucking patient. The doctor finally comes in and we exchange brief pleasantries.

"How ya doing?"

"Fine, I guess. You tell me."

"When's the last time you had a tetanus shot?"

"Dunno. Guess it's been too long, then."

"Ya want one?"

And she's looking at me the same way you would if you were asking someone if they wanted a Coke or something.

I opt for the tetanus shot.

She tells me to get undressed, but to leave the underwear on. I'm not old enough yet for the really fun part of a physical examination, apparently. So, I change into a nice blue gown thing, and sit down on the table and wait.

She and the pretty resident return, and she gets out the scope thing with the light that they use to look in your ears and mouth. She's complaining to the resident about how small some of these rooms are, and some other person that I don't know. She looks in both ears with the scope, then into my mouth. Let me correct that. She stuck the scope in my ears and mouth, but she was bitching the whole time, and I'm pretty sure she didn't actually look at anything. Having been to the doctor before, they usually look at your pupils too, but not today. She keeps moving, and asks if I have any moles on my back. I resist the urge to ask how the fuck I would know if I had anything on my back, but I just shrug. She takes a look, and I infer that I am mole-free.

"Lay down."

So, I ease back onto the crinkly paper, and she starts pushing on my feet, right along the big toe. That's a new one for me. In the past, I have always preferred to use internists, as they seem to be better trained, but for some reason this time, I have a general practitioner. But at least she's pushing on my big toe.

She moves up the leg to the abdomen, pressing down in spots, which at least is a familiar procedure. I don't know what they are looking for, but they all look for it. Next, feel around the neck and jaw for lymph node issues, but I guess I'm clean.

"Stand up."

I stand up, and it's hernia check time, also known as turn-your-head-and cough. However, I still have the drawers on as directed. She yanks them down to my knees and manhandles my nuts to the extent that I am still sore. I turn my head and cough, amused at the idea of the pretty Asian doctor in training having to get a good look at my junk. In retrospect, she couldn't have been too hot, because my doctor was in no danger of having her eye poked out or anything.

Ten seconds later, they're barrelling out the door.

"You doing any blood work today, Doctor?" I ask.

"Have you eaten today?"

"A little bit."

"You'll have to come back."

Now again, I made this appointment THREE months ago. They called me yesterday to remind me, and no one mentioned fasting, or I'm pretty sure I'd have done just that. Why visit twice?

So, she heads out, mentioning that someone would be back in a minute to give me a tetanus shot. I look at my watch, and it's now 8:35.

So, I change back into my clothes and wait. Apparently, my visit with a medical doctor for a physical is over. Now, I had mentioned up front that I had not had a physical in at least four years. In spite of that, I get no chest X-ray, no EKG, no EEG, and of course, no blood work. Frankly, I got as thorough of an examination when the team doctor checked me out before baseball season. There was no inquiry as to whether anything was bothering me, or if had any pain or anything else that I might be concerned about. Honestly, it was a complete waste of time.

So finally, at 9am, someone notices the door has been shut for awhile, and asks if anyone had been in to give me a tetanus shot yet.

"Why would I still be sitting here if I had been given a shot and summarily dismissed?"

Five minutes later, a nurse comes in and asks me which arm I want the shot in. I reply that at this point, I really don't care. The left arm is closest, so in goes the needle. I am thrilled, because I finally feel like I have had some sort of medical procedure. It occurs to me as she slaps on a band-aid that I could have gone to the free clinic to get a tetanus shot and a hernia check, and I'd have saved a fifteen dollar copay, and possibly some time as well.

Maybe I just picked a bad doctor this time, or maybe things have just gotten a lot worse since I was last able to afford medical care. I know that the doctor makes less money if they do more tests on patients, but I honestly believe that most people get into the medical field because they want to help people. I have no problem with doctors making a lot of money. Who should make more money than doctors and teachers? I can't think of anyone. But this doctor was not interested in treating me at all, only getting me in and out, having someone file the paperwork, and on to the next meatbag. It's pretty discouraging.

I don't have any answers for the state of medical costs, and the insurance companies that run everything now. Feel free to post any ideas, including violent ones.

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posted at 3:17 PM

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Friday, September 10, 2004
80.6 Degrees Fahrenheit

Well, so far, I've revealed very few personal details about myself in this esteemed blog, and I still maintain that my life is none of your fucking business. However, for the purposes of another potentially quality-esque post, I will reveal a fascinating nugget:

I was born and raised in Ohio.

And I've lived all over since then. But the reason I mention this now, is because of all of the hurricane activity that the U.S. Banana Republic of Florida is currently enjoying.

"What the hell has your fat ass growing up in Ohio got to do with hurricanes in Florida?"

It's a weather thing, baby.

In Ohio, the weather is stupid. And I mean that in a good way, because the fact that it's always changing is pretty cool, if you ask me. The summers are hot and humid, which admittedly sucks. And the winters can be snowy, and at times unbelievably cold, as in 10-20 below zero, depending on what our Canadian friends are sending. But there are also lots of thunderstorms, and I like thunderstorms. Clearly, that's because I am a hopeless romantic (like I need to tell you).

The point is, weird, violent weather is nothing unusual to Midwesterners, and we tend not to get freaked out by it. But these hurricanes have sure made things interesting in Florida lately. I lived on the East coast for a few years, and experienced two or three hurricanes rolling through the area where I lived. Lots of warm wind, bands of rain, and power outages. Nothing that freaked me out, but I never really got hit head-on. I never assumed that hurricanes or any other natural disaster was the act of some angry god or goddess, but as odd as it seems, there will be political consequences from these storms.

Charley and Frances have put their collective feet squarely up Florida's ass, and Ivan is poised to do the same in the next few days. Fans of democracy can only hope these no-audit, paperless voting machines will be swept out into the Gulf of Mexico to avoid another third world-type fiasco like we had in 2000. And has the universe conspired to take revenge on Floridians for their inability to comprehend a fucking ballot? I just don't know.

But the political fallout of which I speak is certainly going to happen, and the ball is in the president's court. By the time November 2 rolls around, Floridians will still be living in shelters, makeshift homes, etc. And if there are enough of them who feel that the government is not helping them, they will vote to toss King George out on his soft, shrapnel-free ass. Even before Charley had blown ashore in Florida last month, Bush had already committed two BILLION dollars to relief for Florida.

Certainly, just having your little brother rig the polls again would have been cheaper.

Still, I have no problem with the government stepping up to help people at a time like this. Who else will do it? Insurance companies and their fat margins? The private sector? No chance. So, it's kind of fun to see the president pretend he's FDR and chucking bags of cash out to voters, er, storm victims. Hell, after Charley, I saw video of W saying that it was the government's job to get people back on their feet. I was shocked to hear these words come out of his mouth, and not just because he pronounced all of them correctly. Mister Small Government (in theory) feels that sometimes people need help? And the government should provide that help? Optimist that I am, for a second, I thought that George had turned a corner and seen the light. And not the fake one he saw when he found Jesus at the bottom of a pill bottle full of cocaine.

The cynic in me fought back, though. He's just buying votes. He's scared of seeming to not care like his father after hurricane Andrew struck in 1992. Well, it is the president's job to act presidential, and nothing gives one a better chance to radiate fake warmth like a disaster.

So, I say to Florida: Hunker down! Ivan is on the way! And if you fuck up the election again, I hope God breaks your inbred state off at the panhandle and floats your dumb asses all the way down to Mexico, so you can see how efficiently a government can fix an election.

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posted at 10:38 AM

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Friday, August 27, 2004
Who is saying "no?"

Ralph Nader made the following statement in the August 2004 edition of Harper's, and I think it provides a pretty simple way to look at things:

"There's a reason why the unions have the slogan, "Which side are you on?" We should list the major goals for our country, and ask, Who is saying no? Health insurance for everyone: who is saying no? A living wage: who is saying no? It's the corporations, and corporate interests. You can list one after another: tax reform, honest elections. If you want to find out what the problems are in this country - what keeps it from progressing - you should ask who's saying no."

If your state legislature is tossing around the idea of raising the minimum wage, or some other issue of interest to working people, find out who is donating to the opposition of that bill, and put your foot in their asses. They publish this stuff in the newspaper, so read it. If a grocery store chain is sponsoring legislation against wage and benefit protections for it's workers, or any other business, STOP SHOPPING THERE.

This type of crap happens a million different ways, and it's not even that hard to find out. Donations of this type on both sides must be disclosed. Don't give your money to companies that view their own workforce as parasitic scum.

And it's not just about labor, either. Remember the US Mad Cow scare? The current law on the books says that chains that suspect they may be selling infected meat are under NO OBLIGATION to tell the public that they may have sold you a lethal disease right off their shelves. The USDA has made disclosure by grocery stores entirely voluntary.

What?

How can that be? Well, the people who write these laws in Congress are given so much money by agricultural interests that they write legislation that allows these huge conglomerates to get away with what may eventually be murder.

This is what you do. Don't patronize the products from these companies. Don't vote for officials who allow corporations to sell you infected, dangerous products. Whether it's food, cars, whatever, stop sowing the seeds of your death with your own money. A dead consumer can't really make a Fortune 500 company prosper.

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posted at 12:05 AM

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Saturday, April 10, 2004
I still haven't done my taxes

I'm not sure what day it is, but I know it's close to April 15th, and I haven't filled out my tax returns yet. Taxes are one of those things that no one really likes to pay, but you sort of have to if you want to live in a civilized society. Want the cops to come when thugs break in to your house? That costs money. Want the fire department to show up when your ex tries to set your car on fire? That costs money. You prefer that the bridge you are crossing not collapse as you cross it? Well, it ain't free, fucko.


I'm not in love with the idea of shelling out of every check. But in spite of what the president believes, Jesus Christ doesn't fix potholes, and he's also not going to educate your kids for free in a school he conjured up by waving his hands around. This is the real world, and things cost money.


Is there waste? Of course. I'd like to see a legitimate commission that investigates and prosecutes fraud in the area of taxpayer money. I suppose there already is one, but no one seems terribly petrified of it. You're building a road and are 20% over budget? Better have everything itemized, or you get fifteen years in a nice pound-you-in-the-ass prison, which ironically, your taxes paid for. Don't worry though. Taxpayer money will provide you medical care for the random shankings you receive from the Aryan Nation Brotherhood inside. And we segue to...


Health Insurance


45 million Americans don't have it. You get sick? Fuck you. Broke your ankle? Learn to limp. Acute appendicitis? Better pick out a cute coffin, because you are going to die. The odd thing is, the fundamentalist so-called Christians who run this country don't really care. This is the only time they believe in Darwinism and survival of the fittest. What Would Jesus Do? I guess he'd better go get an MBA, because without health insurance, stigmata can become infected very easily.
We claim such superiority over European nations and their socialized medicine, but here's a fact: They outlive us. They also have caught up and even surpassed Americans in height. When Jefferson was in Paris in the late 18th century, the Americans were nearly a head taller than their counterparts. They had been raised on food farmed in good soil, whereas the Europeans were getting crap from their tired dirt. Well, thanks to improved methods, they spent the last century catching up, and now the average Dutch man is six feet tall, and the average American man has gone from 5'10" to 5'9'. So many Americans eat cheap, nutritionally worthless shit all the time because they are too poor to eat properly. This the type of thing that strikes me as a national emergency, and dare I say, an imminent threat.

In a side note, please remember that you may not drive a car in this country unless it is insured. Still think you have more value than property?

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posted at 8:37 PM

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