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Sunday, August 19, 2007
Giuliani: Freedom Lover

I was having a good time this week, watching Rudy dealing with yet another brand of sketchiness surrounding his campaign, the discovery that one of his kids supports Barack Obama's campaign, and not her own father's. I have to believe that you may have electability problems when you are not polling first among people that you are actually related to. And these are the people that generally know you best.

Apparently, his daughter and a son from, actually, I'm not sure which of his three marriages, are a bit salty about his actions during the divorce, and perhaps embarrassed about having to look at Mister Mid Life Crisis go through such a hard-to-watch public courtship with the current future-ex-Mrs. Giuliani, while still married to their mother.

Let me correct something: The mother of the kids involved in this issue is Donna Hanover, his second wife, not his first wife, who was his second cousin. I don't know why he hides that fact, it plays well in banjo country.

But the press, voracious as they are, wants to know why, you know, a candidate's adult children would rather vote for anyone but the man who brought them into existence. I mean, that's a pretty big thing to walk away from. Hell, I'd vote for my dad in a second.

But Rudy is frank, and didn't walk away from the question, like he did about so many other things, like deciding to put the crisis command center in the one place in New York that had already been previously attacked by terrorists, or Bernard Kerik, or the radios that he spent $15 million on prior to 9/11 that he knew were inadequate for emergency personnel, or any of that stuff. He didn't tell a big lie, like how he was actually "just like" the firefighters and other rescue workers because he had spent as much time at the pile as they had.

No, he met this issue head on. Why won't your blood relatives vote for you?

"I love my family very, very much and will do anything for them. There are complexities in every family in America. The best thing I can say is kind of, 'Leave my family alone, just like I'll leave your family alone.' "

So, that's actually a piece of good news: Rudy will leave your family alone.

I take this to mean that Rudy will not break up your marriage by trying to have sex with your wife. But that's small potatoes. I also want to believe that Rudy will leave my family alone by not using extra-Constitutional rationalizations to spy on my phone, mail, and Internet communications. I would infer that he believes that a person's private business is in fact, private, and that he would actually seek legal avenues in order to catch criminals instead of running roughshod all over my rights. And he sure as hell won't flip-flop on his many previous public statements supporting a woman's right to deal with pregnancy as she pleases.

No, Mister Nine-Eleven supports a person's right to privacy. The one-issue candidate, the man who would be only a footnote if terrorists had not slammed planes into skyscrapers, allowing him to film a six-year photo-op calculated to one day make him president, yes, he will leave your family alone.

Tell me you believe this, you small-government crusaders who still, with byzantine logic, still support President Bush. Make me believe that you, in your heart, really believe that Rudy is your guy for any other reason besides you think he can win.

He can't win. He won't win. The dirt on Giuliani has only begun to flow, and it's not even new stuff, it's all the same crap that was documented when he was mayor of New York. I'll be interested to see what your breaking point is, conservatives. His support of gun control doesn't bother you, nor his pro-choice stances, his marital infidelities, support of gay rights, out-and-out lies about 9/11, none of these seem to matter to you.

So much left to report. So much left to uncover. Rudy's unraveling will be very slow, and very public, and it couldn't happen to a nicer guy. We will leave your family alone, sir. We will be leaving you alone entirely.

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posted at 9:59 AM

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