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SIMS : ROCKS ARE FREE, AND SLINGSHOTS EASILY STOLEN.
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Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Hail To The Chieftess

We are seven weeks from a historic (not "an historic, morons) election. For the first time in the history of this country, a black man has been nominated for the top spot, and also for the first time, the Republicans have put a woman on the ticket for vice president. The polls are all very close, and anyone who claims to know what's going to happen is full of crap.

Speaking as one who is full of crap, if I had a gun to my head, and my life depended on picking the winner of the election, I would have to say McCain/Palin. I'm not thrilled by this idea, but at the moment, I think it's likely. Hopefully, the next seven weeks will be instructive to the American voter as to what the candidates are about, and who they're in bed with.

Assuming I'm right, John McCain will be sworn in as president next January. Assuming actuarial tables are right, Sarah Palin will be sworn in as president at some point after that. I'm not being morbid here, it's simply that John McCain, statistically speaking, has nearly reached his life expectancy. Voting for McCain is, in reality voting for Sarah Palin to be president, if not on January 20th, at some point in the future.

I do not mention this to scare the hell out of you. I am merely amused that the first female President of the United States is very likely not going to be Hillary Clinton. And that it's largely Hillary's own fault.

Hillary Clinton has spent most of the last two years attempting to frighten people on the subject of Barack Obama. He's inexperienced! He's like Jesse Jackson! He's the son of a single mother on food stamps and an elitist! And, Senator Clinton, is Barack Obama a Muslim?

"Not as far as I know."

Fuck you, Hillary.

The upshot of her disgusting campaign is largely that it provided John McCain with a blueprint on how to attack Barack Obama in the general election campaign. Now to be fair, McCain is fighting a far dirtier campaign, not even bothering to consider the truth when giving speeches or buying campaign advertising. Even the imbecile lapdog media has noticed that most of what the McCain camp is saying is utterly false, but Senator McCain, the man I'd have enthusiastically voted for eight years ago, doesn't give a damn. He just wants to win, and he's even got Karl Rove, the man who trashed McCain's reputation in South Carolina in 2000, on his payroll.

Just win, grandpa.

He may win, again thanks to the groundwork laid by the Clintons. If McCain does win, and Palin does ascend to the presidency, her inadequacies will be made horrifyingly apparent. America will go another fifty years without seriously considering a female candidate for president. Hillary Clinton will reap what she has sown, and will leave as her legacy nothing more than being the strongly feminist first lady who didn't leave her husband after he cheated on her in front of the entire world.

Get off of your ass, Hillary. Start figuring out how you're going to get Barack Obama elected president, or get comfortable with the idea that your moment, the only thing that has mattered to you in the last thirty years, the thing that you feel is your right, will never happen. Sarah Palin will be the first female president, and you'll be Lady Bird Johnson.

It's your legacy, stupid.

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posted at 11:19 AM

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Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Say It

Hillary Clinton gives her speech tonight to the Democratic National Convention in Denver. Apparently, a number of people who voted for her in the primaries are so angry that Barack Obama stole the nomination from her by getting more votes, that they have vowed to vote for John McCain in November.

If Hillary does not persuade these people to vote for Obama, she will all but have committed treason. If Obama loses this election because so-called Clinton Democrats can't vote for the black guy who agrees with them on nearly everything, instead of the old white guy who doesn't agree with them on anything, then she should quit the Democratic party, and henceforth be considered as poisonous where progressive politics are concerned. Joe Lieberman with a vagina.

The Clintons and their flying monkey advisers completely laid out the road map for McCain's people to try and tear down Obama. She and McCain have so much experience, and how dare Barack Obama jump to the head of the line when it's her turn to be president?

Hillary tonight, and Bill tomorrow. Both of them owe Barack Obama enormous apologies for running such a negative campaign, and also owe him the best damned speeches of their political careers. Anything even remotely half-assed or disingenuous will be remembered for what it is: An attempt to help McCain defeat Obama so that Hillary can run for the presidency in 2012.

The American people don't owe either of you a damned thing. You work for us. You aren't royalty, and any shine you had from before has long since faded. Get your man elected, and stop making the country a worse place for the rest of us just to get through your megalomaniacal to-do list.

This is bigger than you. It's bigger than all of us. Quit being Clintons, and try being Americans.

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posted at 4:35 PM

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Monday, April 28, 2008
I'm not blocked

I'm just sick of this Democratic primary. The whole thing is embarrassing, and I am done thinking about it for awhile. Obama has it wrapped up, Hillary cannot catch him, and it's over. All that's going on now is that she's trying to shit on him enough so that he'll lose to McCain in November, and then she can run in 2012. That's the Clinton game plan, and if she continues with the gutter politics until the convention, it'll probably work, too.

Fuck it, I'm done thinking about it for awhile. It's baseball season, and that's more than enough for me.

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posted at 7:47 PM

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Thursday, March 27, 2008
Morbid Curiosity

I doubt that anyone who reads this blog regularly would be surprised to find out that I voted for Barack Obama in my state's primary. I suppose no one would be all that shocked to find that I have a pessimistic streak in me as well.

I know. Such intimate stuff.

Three or four months ago, I was pretty pleased about the slate of candidates running for president, and saw a number of Democrats and even a Republican or two (eh, one) that I wouldn't have minded casting my vote for. As the Democrats got down to just two, I was of the mindset that either one of these people would make a pretty good president.

To hell with that.

I have decided, and am stating for the record, that if Hillary Clinton is awarded the Democratic Party's nomination, I am not going to vote for her.

"Gonna sit this one out?"

Nope. I'll vote for John McCain. I will cancel out someone's vote, and do it with a grin on my face. My reasons are twofold.

First of all, I am absolutely disgusted with both Hillary and Bill Clinton, and with the type of campaign they have chosen to run. I just don't remember things being this damned nasty back in the 90s, but maybe it was. I don't remember it like this, I just don't. Maybe it's because Bill actually had charisma as a candidate, whereas Hillary seems to have very little. But as a supportive spouse? Bill Clinton can take his smug aw-shucksness and cram it with walnuts.

If the Jeremiah Wright videos were dug up by anyone, it was by the Clinton campaign. Yeah, the pastor is a world-class douchebag, but for Hillary to have the stones to castigate Obama in the manner she did was just ludicrous.

"If my pastor had said something like that, I'd have just gotten up and left."

Well, what if you were married to him and found out he was nailing an intern? Would you have stayed with him then? Or would you stay with him because there's no way America elects a bitchy divorcée to be the first female president of the United States?

It backfired anyway, because Obama ended up giving one of the greatest speeches in political history as a response. His numbers dropped two points. Hillary's went down eight.

The other reason I'll vote for McCain over Clinton is - well...

I just want to see how bad things can get.

McCain wants to maintain high troop levels in Iraq. He wants to invade Iran. He's content to let the mortgage crisis play out, and has very little understanding of economics. He's my guy.

Let's really crater this thing, I mean just fly the country into the side of a mountain at 1000 miles per hour, and see if it bounces or explodes. I'm really curious to see what happens to our 300 million soft, fat asses when the long overdue correction in our standard of living really kicks in and takes out 100 other economies in one fell swoop.

I'm not proud of this impulse, but I recognize it, and figure I may as well be honest about it.

Besides, why should anyone other than a Conservative have to clean up Bush's ridiculous mess? I think Obama could take a crack at it and maybe get this thing back on course, but Hillary is cautious and timid, policy-wise, and we are beyond any good that baby steps can provide.

John McCain sees this thing heading toward a cliff and punches the accelerator like he was driving his Buick Century through a downtown farmer's market.

If we're still actively involved in Middle Eastern wars by 2015, I'll probably leave the country, to be honest. The machinery of war is lubricated with the blood of youth, and I'll make no contribution of that resource, not for oil, and not for empire.

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posted at 10:40 PM

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Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Lousy, privileged black men

Former Democratic vice-presidential nominee, Geraldine Ferraro made the following observation today:

"If Obama was a white man, he would not be in this position. And if he was a woman (of any color) he would not be in this position. He happens to be very lucky to be who he is. And the country is caught up in the concept."

Man, it just burns me up how easy black men have it in this country. What could be luckier than being a black male in America? I mean, just knowing you're going to earn less than your white counterparts has to make things easier. No capital gains headaches for these guys, no sir. And I'll bet waking up each day knowing that you have a one in three chance of being imprisoned is probably true piece of mind as increasing numbers of Americans lose their homes to predatory lenders and utter stupidity. Nothing like a cot in the state pen to fall back on in tough financial times. Ferraro went on:

“Any time anybody does anything that in any way pulls this campaign down and says let’s address reality and the problems we’re facing in this world, you’re accused of being racist, so you have to shut up,” Ferraro said. “Racism works in two different directions. I really think they’re attacking me because I’m white. How’s that?”

Hell, all a black man like Barack Obama has to do in order to be elected president these days is just hang around and wait.


Now, I know Hillary Clinton's campaign didn't send Geraldine Ferraro out to say this today, but they don't seem to be in any hurry to divorce themselves from her, or what she said. This is how it's going to be. It's an ugly brand of politics this season, and the Republicans haven't even weighed in yet.

It'll get far worse, and in ways you haven't even imagined.

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posted at 6:45 PM

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Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Message from the future

By the time you read this, Hillary Clinton will no longer be a presidential candidate.

There are certainly reasons that this might be untrue, such as you're reading this over my shoulder as I write it, or you're monitoring my intarwebs in real time, despite the fact that you have no warrant authorizing you to do so.

Thanks a lot, spineless United States Senate Democrats.

But if it wasn't true when you began reading this, there is no doubt that it is a certain fact...NOW.

Fine, keep reading.

Senator Clinton has a problem. It's not Barack Obama, and it's not Bill. Hillary's problem is still Hillary.

Don't misunderstand me, I think very highly of the woman. I'm confident that she's the brighter party in a marriage of geniuses, and I think she'd make a pretty good president. And that's not even using the sliding scale we'll need after Dingus McGhee leaves office in January. I really believe she's got the chops to make things better in this country. Of course, she won't get the chance, because she's just dropped out of the race.

Damn.

When people want to diminish Hillary, they generally choose one of three issues. They pick one, because no one thinks all three are bad, or entirely her fault.

1) Her failure to get Americans universal health care back in 1993.

As first lady, she took a crack at getting Americans something that all other industrialized nations have. She got sandbagged at every turn, and since I'm no policy wonk, for all I know, the plan might have been crap. It was a long time ago, and I honestly don't remember. Still, she got a bum rap, and too few people give her credit for carrying the torch on an issue that 15 years later, most people feel is really important.

2) Monica Lewinsky.

Are you more upset because Hillary couldn't please Bill enough to keep him from straying, or because she didn't leave him after he got busted? I would venture to ask why it's anyone's damned business but the Clintons, but this is America, and OH LOOK A BUNNY.

I'm not mad at Hillary about this. I simply recognize that this eminently independent and capable woman's decision to stay with this man she had no use for was simply a calculation made based on the fact that no one votes for a divorcee' woman for president. And no one will vote for her as a married lady either BECAUSE SHE'S JUST DROPPED OUT OF THE RACE.

Right, that third thing.

3) Her vote to authorize the president's use of military force in Iraq.

I was frustrated back in 2002, because it was starting to become apparent that a case was being made to finish personal family business between the Bushes and the Husseins, and that we were going to have to finance this stupid feud, in treasure and blood. We were less than a month from the midterm elections, and the administration was forcing a vote. They dared Congress to say "investigate more" knowing full well that the blood of the American people was up.

I watched senators come to the podium to justify their votes. Hillary had been in the Senate for less than two years, and talk of a future presidential run was already floating about. She gave her speech. I watched.

I thought, "Damn. She doesn't want to look like a girl when she runs for president."

And a lot of Democratic senators voted the same way for the same reason. They screwed it up. And 4000 dead and the better part of a trillion dollars later, this country has serious problems, financially, militarily, domestically, and in terms of our prestige.

These are the reasons Hillary has dropped out of the race to be president.

The incrementalism that was the trademark of the first Clinton White House will not be sufficient this time around. This country is too far afield to sit through a decade of small measures and baby steps. There is a great deal to be repaired, and we don't have the luxury of time.

Time is up. She's out.

It's the Hillary, stupid.

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posted at 9:41 PM

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Friday, January 25, 2008
Dammit '08

I was right. Six months ago, in the awful summer heat, I was right. God dammit.

If Edwards doesn't make a strong showing Saturday in South Carolina, it is going to be bleak around here.

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posted at 11:35 PM

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Sunday, December 02, 2007
Doldrums 2007

We're just a little more than a month out from the first official presidential contests for this quadrennial, and I'm felling pretty bleah about the whole thing. I want to remain interested, because the election is important, but I think in a lot of ways the reign of George W. Bush has had it's intended effect on me, and the rest of the population. That is, I feel like things are pretty much hopeless, and will never get any better.

Mission Accomplished.

I look at the frontrunners and I'm just ready to move to Putin's Russia. There, at least, you wake up every day, knowing who is in charge of everything, and who always will be. Assuming you wake up at all.

But here, the "choices" we have are just miserable.

Giuliani? Every 72 hours seems to reveal yet another personal or political scandal about this clown, most of which were already known to the press and citizenry of New York City. Giuliani is smart, but he's more desperate for power than anything else, and it makes him look pathetic. Besides, if you thought Bill Clinton's personal life was a national embarrassment, you ain't seen nothin' yet.

Hillary? Capable as any of them, but as much as I liked Bill, I'm tired of this Bush/Clinton stranglehold on the White House. The second Bush sure as hell wasn't an improvement, and I doubt a second Clinton would be, either. It's too bad Hillary has to spend all of her time showing what a hardass she is, when she could probably accomplish great things for this country.

Romney? He's still an empty suit, although at least unlike Bush, he actually had success in the business world. I still think his only position is whatever is expedient, and frankly, the guy just seems creepy. Oh, and that whole "double the size of Gitmo" thing? Do me a favor: write out the full details of your plan on the back of your Vietnam deferment, and get back to me. And please, fill it out in English, not en Francais.

Obama? Still waiting to see some teeth, although I do at least get the sense that maybe the gloves are off where Hillary is concerned. He's now leading in Iowa, and I really wouldn't mind seeing him be the nominee. Again, I want to see that GOP mud machine tie itself in knots trying not to call him Willie Horton.

Huckabee? This is a guy I've liked since I started seeing him on the talk shows a couple of years ago. He actually seems like a decent person, although I do disagree with him on a number of issues. It's funny that he's being attacked from the right because he had the nerve to raise taxes in Arkansas. I'm not sure when taxes became worse than people starving to death or dying from curable conditions, but that's your Republican Party. I'd consider voting for Huckabee if he hadn't admitted to not believing in Evolution. No, you don't get to have your hand on the nukes, sir.

Edwards? He's been written off by the media, but I'll probably vote for him anyway. My guess is he eventually throws his support to Obama, and then it gets interesting.

McCain? There's just too much water under this bridge for me to think about casting for John. He was my guy in 2000, but he told the truth about the religious right, had his leash pulled, and then apologized. Once he started pandering to people like Robertson and Falwell, I just gave up on him. I prefer to think of McCain as one of the few principled people in politics, but he lusts for the job so much, and he's kissed the ass of so many bigots, that I could never vote for him. Too bad, he'd have made a really good president.

Biden? A guy I'd be very comfortable having as president, especially given his foreign policy experience. He's a big thinker, and that'd be a nice change around here. He's also never bothered to cash in on his position, ranking 99th out of 100 in terms of personal wealth in the Senate. I hope he doesn't accept a VP slot with someone, he's too valuable where he is.

Fred Thompson? What did I tell you? WHAT DID I TELL YOU?

Ron Paul? He probably makes more sense on more issues than any of these guys, but I don't think that putting someone in charge who hates government as much as he does could possibly end well. Reform is good, but until all of us are saints, I think abolishing the IRS is probably a bad move.

There's a long way to go, a dozen Giuliani skeletons to de-closet, and a billion dollars to be spent campaigning. If I had anything uplifting to say, I'd say it now.

Sorry.

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posted at 8:57 PM

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Friday, November 02, 2007
Department of Just Us

A few weeks ago, the man President Bush nominated to replace Alberto Gonzalez as Attorney General, Michael Mukasey, looked like a sure bet to sail through confirmation hearings. A former judge, he has a solid legal background, and appeared to be a candidate who would be acceptable to almost everyone.

How things do change.

His nomination is still in the Senate Judiciary Committee, and it doesn't look like it's getting out of there anytime soon. A couple of weeks ago, in hearings, Mukasey seemed to indicate that it was his opinion that waterboarding and other "enhanced interrogation" techniques were illegal. After further reflection, and one presumes, many angry calls from the White House, Mukasey amended his opinion to something a bit more vague.

"Waterboarding is repugnant."

But is it legal?

"Dude! I wasn't even there!"

And if I thought for a minute that Mukasey was simply ignorant, I'd just pat him on his head and send him on his way home, but that's not what this is at all. The fact of the matter is, that if Mukasey concedes that waterboarding is torture, and therefore illegal, then he would really have no recourse as AG but to prosecute those who have been using it.

And the sick fucks who ordered them to use it. Send those subpoenas to: 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington, DC.

And that's what this is about, really. The people who are ultimately responsible for this immoral criminality are covering their own asses, desperate to make sure that they will never be subject to prosecution for ordering torture.

So yesterday, Bush is wheeled out in front of The Heritage Foundation to complain that Mukasey is not being treated fairly. OK, even though I think that's not really true, I won't go so far as to assail the president on that statement. Did he say anything else?

“I believe that the questions he’s been asked are unfair,” Mr. Bush said. “He’s not been read into the program — he has been asked to give opinions of a program or techniques of a program on which he’s not been briefed."

Waterboarding is not so much a program as it is a method of torture that simulates drowning. If you want to know the specifics, you can Google it. It's not complicated. Mukasey knows the details of "the program," he simply may not know what the chain of command is involved in ordering its use. So the question remains: Is waterboarding legal?

The answer from Bush should not surprise you: "9/11." Or in long form:

"It's important for Congress to pass laws and/or confirm nominees that will enable this government to more effectively defend the country and pursue terrorists and radicals that would like to do us harm."

So now that Bush has essentially said that if the Senate doesn't confirm Mukasey, he won't nominate anyone else, even a victim of torture, Senator John McCain, has lined up (again) with President Silver Spoon. McCain and Senator Lindsey Graham issued a statement yesterday stating that they would now vote to confirm Mukasey:

“Once he is confirmed, however, we strongly urge that he publicly make clear that waterboarding is illegal and can never be employed.”

So, he shouldn't declare waterboarding illegal before he is the Attorney General, but he should "make clear" that it won't be used after he is made AG? Why shouldn't it be used if it's not illegal? Ah, right, because waterboarding is torture, and we signed something declaring that we don't do that. Something to do with a Swiss town, lovely in the Spring, I'm told.

Days like today, and I have them more and more often, I wake up and wonder what the hell happened to my country. Not only is the government committing criminal acts, they are doing it publicly, and the real kicker is that about thirty percent of the population thinks that the government is morally right to do it. I have a better understanding of this mentality since reading John Dean's Conservatives Without Conscience, but I still don't really get the need to genuflect to authority in every circumstance, religious, political or otherwise. Sometimes the people in charge are right, and sometimes they aren't, but I must question your sanity if you suggest that stooping to the level of the worst people in the world, and using their tactics, merely to provide a thin veneer of illusory safety, is the right thing to do. I would also question your morality.

Do you understand what Patrick Henry meant when he said "Give me liberty, or give me death!" There are things worth fighting for, and even things worth dying for, although not many. An American democracy is worth dying for. The over 2900 dead from the 9/11 attacks would be, I think, quite disturbed to find what we have lost, given away really, in our quest to avenge their deaths. America is not as good as it was when 2001 started, and I truly have doubts that it will ever be again. Liberties willingly handed over to authority are never returned.

Warrantless wire taps, data mining, illegal searches, indeterminate detainment without charges, waterboarding and other torture...

These are not the actions of a democratic government. These are the moves that a fascist, autocratic regime makes, one which is willing to do anything that consolidates power and creates a fearful populace. These acts are not simply undemocratic, not simply criminal. They are immoral.

Days like this, I wish God existed so that the architects of this madness could suffer an eternity of waterboarding or Abu Ghraib-style hijinks. I wish I had faith in my fellow citizens to, at a minimum, fire the cowards who ducked their own war to send this generation's young to fight, be maimed, and die. I wish Americans would figure out that we are so damned well-armed that any terrorist who dares show his face will be riddled with thirty bullets from the citizenry.

If you support government-sanctioned torture, you are a coward. You are so fucking stupid that you don't even realize what it is that you ought to be afraid of: Your own government.

Or did you forget that Hillary Clinton may be President in 14 months? The worm turns, and the names of those who are enemies of the state do, too. Imagine all of the government powers that you so blindly support in the hands of a Hillary Clinton. Still feel tough? Still think we should stop questioning the administration? Any reason you can name which might persuade anyone that you aren't a committing treason?

Speak up now. Or don't. Frankly, you won't be missed.

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posted at 7:17 AM

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Thursday, August 23, 2007
Eh.

My job wants me to write a blog that they will use on their website. That's fine, I suppose, and they don't even care if it's political. They just want it to be funny.

I'm told, mostly by people who don't read this blog, that I have one hell of a sense of humor. I usually stare at them, expressionless and mute, until they become uncomfortable and walk away. So, I don't know if it's necessarily true, and that sort of thing is subjective, anyway.

But a lot of what I write about is political, because I know that a great deal of good or harm can be done by those who have their hands on the levers of power in this country. I used to think that due to the Constitutional checks and balances in place, no one person could do real long-term damage to my home, but I don't believe that anymore. People can be reprehensible to the core, but that doesn't mean that they are always wrong, or that we can learn nothing from them. Hermann Goering, for example said:

"Why of course the people don't want war. Why should some poor slob on a farm want to risk his life in a war when the best he can get out of it is to come back to his farm in one piece? Naturally the common people don't want war neither in Russia, nor in England, nor for that matter in Germany. That is understood. But, after all, it is the leaders of the country who determine the policy and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the peacemakers for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country."

And it's true.

The United States was attacked on September 11, 2001. Fifteen Saudi Arabs and a few close friends killed some air crew and flew planes into buildings. We have been told for almost six years that everything changed that day. That phrase is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Everything changed, because we changed it.

We let our government convince us that the whole world wanted us dead, and not because of anything we did, only because they envy our freedoms. I look at that sentence, and I shake my head. Someone believed that once.

A lot of people still believe it.

I'm just not scared of terror attacks. I understand that they are within the realm of possibility, however remote. I guess I've just decided to go about my life, enjoy what I can, and try to fix the things I'm able to. I'll probably die in a car crash, of heart disease, or at the hands of another red-blooded American enjoying his Second Amendment privileges.

Pardon the pun, but I can live with that.

So, I suppose the key will be to not think big thoughts when it comes to politics. If I keep it small, maybe I can keep it light, and then a good time can be had by all.

"Ha! Ha! Did you see that hat Hillary was wearing? What is she? A socialite? Ha! Ha!"

"Mitt Romney is a Mormon! I wonder how many wives he has! Ha! Ha!"

"Obama! That sounds just like Osama!" Ha! Ha! He must be a terrorist!"

Damn, someone's already been using some of these. I probably owe some anonymous, post-modern Mark Twain a royalty.

"Look at the tyranny of party--at what is called party allegiance, party loyalty--a snare invented by designing men for selfish purposes--and which turns voters into chattels, slaves, rabbits, and all the while their masters, and they themselves are shouting rubbish about liberty, independence, freedom of opinion, freedom of speech, honestly unconscious of the fantastic contradiction; and forgetting or ignoring that their fathers and the churches shouted the same blasphemies a generation earlier when they were closing their doors against the hunted slave, beating his handful of humane defenders with Bible texts and billies, and pocketing the insults and licking the shoes of his Southern master."

And now I owe the real one a buck, too.

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posted at 8:09 PM

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