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Saturday, March 12, 2011
Eyes Wide Shut

Like most reasonable Americans, I usually watch The Daily Show, and The Colbert Report on Comedy Central. I was watching Jon Stewart talk about NY Congressman, Peter King, and the hearings that are being held to investigate the radicalization of Muslims in the US. Aside from the fact that these types of spectacles tend to cause the thing they claim to wish to prevent, Stewart looked into King's long time support of the Irish Republican Army, a group which has been on America's list of terrorist organizations for decades.

King's response? The IRA never carried out attacks on US soil, and his only loyalty is to the United States.

So, I guess that those civilians blown up in Harrod's in London in 1983 weren't killed by terrorism. They all died of blunt natural forces complicated by not being American.

But I don't really want to talk about Peter King. I want to look more at what how people like him can say one thing, and do pretty much the exact opposite without ever appearing to notice the contradiction.

  • The same people who claim that Americans with an income above $250,000 per year are too impoverished to stand a 3% tax hike, are the first to tell you that a school teacher making 50 grand is a fatcat who is destroying the country.
  • Newt Gingrich says that it was his passion for America that led to his cheating on his wife. You know, the one with cancer. Also, the other one he cheated on, and presumably the current one.
  • A Supreme Court justice declines to recuse himself from cases dealing in the federal health care legislation, even though his wife made almost $700,000 between 2003 and 2007 lobbying and organizing against it.
  • And, you know, pretty much everything Sarah Palin says.
It's the disconnect that bothers me. I understand in some cases, like Clarence Thomas, it's about money, and at least I get the impulse. Gingrich? I don't think he's an immoral man. Gingrich is amoral. That's a different animal altogether.

But how does he do it? And how do people who work hard just to keep a roof over their heads cry so loud to defend the bonuses of hedge fund managers while decrying the health benefits of teachers?

It's irrationality. And I've become exhausted trying to talk to crazy people in a rational tone of voice. The imbalance is glaring, and this kind of imbalance cannot occur in nature without repercussions. I want to help.

Liberals? This is what you need to do:

Arm yourselves.

You are not respected by conservatives, because they have guns, and you do not. You are weak, and everyone knows it. You need to get guns, you need to get trained on how to use them.

Then you need to start showing up at political rallies with them strapped to your hip, just like Real Americans.™

Conservatives don't want to hear your arguments, they aren't interested in logic or rationality. They understand brute force, and they understand fear. You do not currently register on their radar as anything which needs acknowledgment, which is why it is so easy for your point of view to be dismissed, even on the rare occasion where it's heard.

Go to gun shows and pawn shops. Buy handguns, rifles, shotguns and machine guns. The fight you're in isn't a fair fight, and your opponent knows it.

Now, you don't have to start shooting people, although you're certainly welcome to return fire. The point is, until the irrational people understand that you are properly equipped to play their game, your point of view holds no standing. You wouldn't reason with a charging grizzly bear, even if your treatise on why he'd be better off eating something else is well-thought out and incredibly persuasive.

I am imagining the massive rallies in Madison, but with thousands of the protesters sporting sidearms. I adore the irony of streets full of anti-war activists, with legally purchased rifles on their shoulders. I absolutely want to see a march for marriage equality populated by armed citizenry.

Trust me, the first time a few thousand peaceful but armed black folks show up someplace for some political cause, even the most disconnected will begin to wonder if the gun laws aren't a bit too liberal.

I understand an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind, but this isn't about shooting someone's eye out. This is about simply getting the eyes open, where they may at least have a chance to catch a glimpse of reality.

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posted at 5:45 AM

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Tuesday, March 09, 2010
Senator Mitch McConnell

The esteemed Senator from Kentucky was kind enough to advise Democrats that if they manage to pass health care this year, it will cost the Democrats their majorities in both houses of Congress.

Then why aren't you doing everything you can to help them pass it, asshole?

I assume it's because you know that once a health care bill passes, even the extremely lame one the Democrats have managed to sell out the American people to assemble, improvements will occur. Not big ones, but some people will be in a better position to get or keep access to health care. No one will give a damn about the legislative process, they will only see a reform bill in their rearview mirror.

Take back the Congress for your party, Senator! Why aren't you aiding the Democrats in slitting their own throats? If you believe it, then stop holding up the process. When your enemies are determined to do themselves harm, only a fool would stand in their way.

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posted at 7:00 AM

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Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Health Care Shocker

Medical science has discovered a growth between the legs of a Democrat.

Finally.



Hearing the truth really got under the skin of some Republicans, who demanded an apology. Alan Grayson was happy to comply.



It's too bad more politicians don't have this guy's balls, especially Democrats. If you can't get a legit public option in the bill, you should take your supermajority and cram it with walnuts, losers.

UPDATE:

Grayson appeared on the Situation Room on CNN today, and kicked holes in every argument thrown at him.



Also, Wolf Blitzer may be brain-damaged.

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posted at 8:28 PM

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Saturday, October 11, 2008
I Remember That Guy

Anyone watching the news over the past ten days knows two things about the election coming up:

John McCain seems to be falling behind.

Barack Obama is a terrorist.

These two developments are connected. As the economy dives closer and closer to an "Apples For Sale" level, Americans are increasingly frightened. From everything I've read, and the little I actually understand, you damned well ought to be.

Because we're a diverse people, we also have unresolved wars in Iraq, a joke of a health care system, prison overcrowding, an addiction to petroleum, and a score of other issues that should have been taken on by a competent government, but I don't feel like looking backward again to the past, when I should be telling the American people what I'm going to do for them.

I'll try to get to that.

Now, however, the country is nervous, jumpy, and an emotional powder keg ready to be set off by the smallest spark. I suppose that's why it's so astounding that John McCain, a man whose political career has dealt often in common sense, has decided to allow his campaign to brand an American citizen, a United States Senator, and a man with tremendous achievements, as a terrorist, or at the very least, a terrorist sympathizer.

At McCain and Palin rallies over the past couple of weeks, barely veiled assertions have been thrown regarding Obama's relationship with a man named William Ayres. Bill Ayres was a member of a terrorist group that did some depicable things, this is true. Ayres and Obama did work together on the board of a charitable organization. Ergo, Obama pals around with terrorists.

Never mind that Ayres' group did their deeds when Obama was 8 years old, the Senator is a terrorist, and you should be scared. And because the final line of our national anthem is now just wishful thinking, it worked.

McCain and Palin rallies have been increasingly hostile, with yelps from the crowd of "terrorist!" "traitor!" and cries of "Kill him!" The campaign has actively bred a mob, and it is a mob they have on their hands. Some footage from a Palin rally:



As a person born and raised in Ohio, I am completely embarrassed by this footage. I spent over twenty years in the state, and I do not know who these people are. They appear to be willfully ignorant, frightened, and in the case of the woman who keeps jumping in front of the camera, mildly retarded. I know these people exist in every state in the country, and in every part of the world, but I'm still mortified.

Friday, at a McCain town hall in a hall in some town in Minnesota, McCain took questions:



I was flipping around the TV that day, and Chris Matthews was commenting on all of this, noting that McCain's actions at this rally reminded us of what it is we used to really love about John McCain. He's right. We finally get to see a glimmer of the man a lot of us wanted to vote for in 2000 before McCain's campaign was sandbagged by the same people whom he has hired to run his current campaign. His poll numbers will probably react favorably.

Matthews' effusive praise reminded me of something else.

A favorite movie of mine is Quiz Show, which was about the quiz show scandals on American television in the 1950s. The gist of it is, a college professor and son of a prominent family, Charles Van Doren, goes on one of these shows, finds out that it's rigged, and even though he knows better, plays along anyway. He becomes wealthy and beloved across the country, and as an investigation reaches fever pitch, he testifies before Congress.



At the conclusion of the speech, Professor Van Doren is praised by the senators on the committee for the "guts it took" to admit the truth, and for being so forthright. The politicians are effusive with praise for Van Doren's admission of wrongdoing. Just as the lovefest begins to spiral out of control, a congressman from upstate New York, Steven Derounian, said the following:

"Mr Van Doren, I'm also from New York. A different part of New York. I'm happy that you made the statement, but I cannot agree with most of my colleagues. You see I don't think an adult of your intelligence ought to be commended for simply, at long last, telling the truth."

You started this fire, Senator McCain. I'm not going to thank you for spitting on it now.

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posted at 9:36 AM

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Monday, November 12, 2007
This and that, 2007 12 November

The US military is reporting that mortar and rocket attacks are at a 21-month low in Iraq. So all of you 18-40 studs who feel Iraqi democracy is so important? It's safe to sign up now. I'll be over here, not holding my breath.

Richard Armitage, the State Department official who first leaked Valerie Plame's name to a reporter, has conceded that he was "extraordinarily foolish" to have revealed this information. And I learned that "extraordinarily foolish" is the new way to say "highly treasonous."

The Derferment Twins. Dick Cheney was unavailable.

A 4000 year-old temple was found in Peru, and there are wall paintings inside of a figure that looks very much like Pat Robertson. The figure is drinking some sort of medicinal shake and blaming America for the 9/11 attacks. Rudy Giuliani had no comment.

Elisabeth Hasselbeck from The View has revealed her new son's name. I didn't finish reading the article, but I suspect his name may be I Don't Give A Shit.

A Patterson man was arrested for allegedly stabbing his wife's uncle. Kevin Easter has been charged with attempted murder, making this the bloodiest Easter since...Wait, I don't do religious humor.

Whose house? RUN'S HOUSE!

Six people were killed by rocket fire at a rally commemorating the life of Yassir Arafat in Gaza City. I can't help but think the old rat-faced terrorist is smiling a little bit in Hell, pleased that Hamas devised the perfect tribute for a mass-murderer.

The headline reads "U.S. to woo Africans with naval diplomacy." Because there's nothing Africans like better than seeing fleets of boats anchored off the coast.

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posted at 6:54 PM

1 comments

Wednesday, November 07, 2007
This and that, 7 November 2007

The US Congress is openly questioning why we are sending aid money to Pakistan, which has recently seen its president nullify their constitution, and declare martial law. They are however, still paying President Bush's salary, and there has been no visible detection of irony anywhere inside the Beltway.

In a related story, Pakistani police beat protesters. I'm afraid that this is not a sports report.

Welcome to your inevitable, albeit less fashionable future.

General Motors reported that it lost $39 BILLION dollars in the third quarter of this year. The company isn't worth nearly that much. Can someone explain to me how this is even possible? I can't imagine why everyone isn't running out to buy Hummers to fill with $4 a gallon gas.

One study has linked birth control pills with clogged arteries, although the pill does still do a bang-up job preventing clogged vaginas.

Click here to get a look at the most adorable little terrorist I've ever seen. Still think it can't happen to you?

I'm not calling Pat Robertson a hypocrite. Some people might do so after he publicly endorsed Rudy Giuliani for president, a thrice-married, pro-choice, pro-gay rights, pro-gun control Catholic from New York City. But not me. All he's doing is sacrificing his principles and everything he stands for in hopes of winning. Big deal.

And the gays. Don't forget the gays.

Interpol put five Iranians and a Lebanese man on its most-wanted list. And that's how things are on the West coast.

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posted at 5:49 PM

2 comments

Thursday, September 13, 2007
The old Switcheroo

I was thinking this week about how great the war was going in Iraq, and it took me back to an article I read in the Fall of 2004, about why we had to invade. I know now that it is because we must grant democracy to the Iraqi people, but even three years ago, we had already gone through 21 different reasons for attacking. I shit you not, and here they are:

1) To prevent the proliferation of weapons of mass destruction.
2) For regime change.
3) To further the war on terror.
4) Because of Iraq’s violation of United Nations resolutions.
5) Because of Saddam Hussein’s evil dictatorship and actions.
6) Because of a lack of weapons inspections in Iraq.
7) To liberate Iraq.
8) Because of Iraq’s ties to al Qaeda.
9) Because Iraq was an imminent threat.
10) To disarm Iraq.
11) To conclude the Gulf War of 1991.
12) Because Hussein was a threat to the region.
13) For the safety of the world.
14) To support the United Nations.
15) Because the United States could (easy victory).
16) To preserve peace around the world.
17) Because Iraq was a unique threat.
18) To transform the region.
19) As a warning to other terrorist nations.
20) Because Hussein hates the United States and will act against it.
21) Because history calls the United States to action.

Now, I suppose Number 18 might cover the whole "grant democracy to the Iraqis" thing, so I won't say that this notion is yet another excuse. But lists aside, have we made any progress?

According to the rather sunny report that General Petraeus delivered to Congress this week, the number of Iraqis being killed in terrorist incidents has dropped by 50% this year (only 2000 a month now!). In spite of this great news, the Iraqi government can't seem to get anything done. There are hopeless divisions due to the different Muslim factions that are trying to get their piece of the action, none of which are willing to compromise, take a step back, or admit that their side may have blood on its hands anytime in the, oh, let's say, eight centuries or so.

If you are willing to acknowledge these facts, you may want to throw your hands up in despair. I look at them, and can only think, "Mission Accomplished." In reverse.

George W. Bush, in his efforts to make Iraq more like the United States, has actually managed to make the US more like Iraq.

In Iraq, we have religious groups who have aligned themselves politically with parties that support their particular dogma. There is not, nor has there ever been, any room for compromise between these parties, because all sides are convinced that they are the only ones who know The Truth.

In the United States, where we used to have a two-party system that was capable of compromise, especially on important issues, we now have idiotic, fruitless (no offense Senator Craig) squabbling, because both parties are certain that their way is the only way to do things, and that compromise is a sign of weakness.

Iraq is in the Middle East, it is overwhelmingly Muslim, and even as an ostensible democracy, would still have an Islamic-oriented government. There could never be an institutionalized writ of separation between church (or mosque) and state.

The United States is predominantly Christian, and even though many of the founders were themselves believers in Christianity, they saw fit to not exclude anyone by having a de facto state religion.

Now, however, we have a government in place which is run at the highest levels by evangelical Christians, whose views on the universe and law are not altogether different than those held by Taliban clerics. They believe god, or more specifically, Jesus, should be a part of every single facet of American life, and that there is no type of charity but that of the Christian variety. They know that to believe otherwise makes one an infidel in this life, and condemned to hell in the next one.

Well, no thanks.

I wish the Iraqis well, but they and their inevitable theocracy can go rot. I want my country back. I want people running things that understand science and the value of research. I want the ones in charge to be able to see past their own selfish desires and dogma, and try to figure out what the consequences of actions might be, not just today but for the next fifty years. I want a president who has doubts, because no one but children and imbeciles could possibly ever have a clear conscience. Certainty, especially the moral brand, is the clearest evidence of a closed mind, and people who claim it ought not be left in charge of anything more important than a microwave oven.

These men who would protect us from evil have instead trashed our Constitution, and lowered us to the level of the enemy whom we proclaim to be so utterly backward in its thinking. And I'm not just talking about our Saudi allies who knocked down the World Trade Center, we have become more like the fascist Communist governments run by Stalin and Mao. We may be a ways off from that level, but we sure as hell are as close to that point as we have ever been.

George W. Bush, the staunch anti-Communist who kept the skies over Texas safe from the Viet Cong in the 1960s, and now battles to keep the American Way intact by taking moral lessons from the worst people on Earth. The 3,000 who died on 9/11/01, and the nearly 3,800 American servicemen and women who have died since then are casualties of a war to promote American-style democracy. It is a war we lost the moment the so-called Patriot Act was signed into law in 2001, and its headstone was cemented in place with the signing of the Military Commissions Act of 2006 which eliminated Habeus Corpus.

We have forfeited our birthright to a group of inbred fanatics who could not take it away from us if they had their numbers increased a thousandfold. And we have done it thanks to the type of leadership one would expect in a third-rate, pissant country like Iraq.

Iraq has American-style democracy all right. If that country even exists in ten years, I'll buy you a Coke.

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posted at 4:43 PM

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Friday, August 31, 2007
Larry Craig

Senator (R-ID)

Indeed.

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posted at 7:35 PM

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Sunday, August 12, 2007
Morning Revelation

For no reason I can understand, I woke up this morning with a thought that, I think, will help start the healing process between two disparate groups in American society. And here it is:

No demographic has less abortions than gays.

There's your place to start, fundies. All the best to everyone!

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posted at 10:06 AM

2 comments

Monday, July 23, 2007
Summer time

And the living is boring.

I seem to be unmotivated by much of anything in terms of writing, but I suppose that's understandable. Congress is in a holding pattern, and isn't even accomplishing stupidity in an interesting way, so that's a dry well. The Commander In Chimp seems to be growing comfortable with his irrelevance, and the most interesting thing he's done in a week is put a camera up his butt.

A less creative type might make an obvious joke here, but not me. Quality matters.

Barry Bonds is about to break Hank Aaron's all-time home run record, and I can't help but feel that it's too bad. Bonds is a great player, and a Hall Of Famer, but he'd not be anywhere close to the record without using illegal steroids. It's just disappointing that the most hallowed record in sports will be held by someone with all of this scandal about him. Eh, there are worse things.

The war in Iraq continues, and no one cares about that either. The people who are against it can't get the Democrats to actually do anything, and the people who are for it won't drive their kids down to the recruiting center to sign up. And College Republicans are the funniest little fascist hypocrites in the world:



I may go to Las Vegas next week for a few days, and just see if I can bust up this cycle of dullness. I don't even know why we bother having summer once we're no longer in school. What's the point?

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posted at 10:47 PM

2 comments

Wednesday, July 11, 2007
You're acting like a baby about this

As usual, I am conflicted. I have a feeling that it is simply my nature to feel this way. I am ambidextrous, I am politically all over the place, I am completely ambivalent about where I should go for dinner, and I despise clutter yet refuse to straighten up the living room.

I feel like it is terribly sad when a marriage breaks up, and yet find it utterly hilarious when a moral crusader is caught philandering with prostitutes.

I am conflicted.

But I'm over that now. Hello, Senator David Vitter!

Adultery is an awful thing, a real betrayal in a relationship. A lot of people seem to have trouble keeping themselves in line when it comes to this, and I'm not going to sit here in judgment of the senator's actions. Truth be told, I really don't care one bit what he does, any more than I did when Bill Clinton got caught with his hand in the humidor.

Did he divulge any classified material? Was anyone murdered? Was everyone a consenting adult?

I must state simply, the only reason I adore this story, and so many others like it, is because Senator Stupidhead wasn't content to simply enjoy the paid company of friendly women. Oh, no. Vitter was very active in the whole Sanctity of Marriage folderol, which is just religiously phrased cover for "No, you can't have a same-sex marriage."

And lest we forget the reasons why, gay marriage would undermine, if not destroy traditional marriage. My guess is that repeated visits to prostitutes who dress you up in a diaper is a far more tangible threat to the Vitter marriage, but I am a "live and let live" sort of person. I will not presume to judge whether or not this is a bad thing where that relationship is concerned. I assume that Mrs. Vitter was aware that the senator liked to dress up like a baby; it's not as if giant packs of adult-sized diapers are easy to hide around the house.

So, what is the ambivalent citizen to do? The higher brain functions know that there was no worrisome crime committed. The so-called victim got paid for her trouble, although she'll probably need to spend a fortune working through the image of Davey Boy in Huggies.

I won't even bother calling for Vitter to resign, because this just isn't that big of a deal. What I would like from the senator is for him to keep his lying, douchebag of a mouth shut. Keep going to work, do your job, make your votes, collect your bribes.

But you don't get to give moralizing speeches any more.

Any time you mention the sanctity of marriage, traditional families, or the like, all anyone is going to see is the image of you, in a diaper, with a pacifier in your mouth, and a wallet emptied of thousands upon thousands of dollars for services rendered.

Keep coming to work, Senator. You're getting paid to be there, and paid well. You may spend your salary and per diem on whatever you wish. Keep undermining the cabal of moral scolds who get caught over and over again saying one thing and doing the opposite.

I love ya, man. Don't crawl back to the bayou and disappear. Don't go to rehab, there's nothing wrong with you. This is America, and a man has the right to be cleaned, powdered, diapered and spanked, if he has the cash.

Addendum: This is just icing on the cake.

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posted at 8:32 PM

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Monday, July 02, 2007
I'm doing a rain dance

Over the weekend, in a story that was little reported, former KGB honcho and current Russian president Vladimir Putin hung out at the Bush compound in Kennebunkport. He was there to discuss the placement of a US missile defense system on European soil. Apparently where we want it and the Russians will tolerate it is a point of dispute.

Fortunately, when Chimpy McFlisghtsuit met Putin the first time, he reported that "I looked the man in the eye. I found him to be very straight forward and trustworthy and we had a very good dialogue. I was able to get a sense of his soul."

Sure, Putin assassinates political enemies and members of the press, but he's a good guy. You can't get to be a big shot at the KGB if you aren't a real people person.

All of this aside, this isn't really what motivated me to write today. The whole shindig was hosted by former President George H.W. Bush (Those words sound so nice. Former President Bush.), and like any good effete Ivy League Easterner, he knows how to make people feel comfortable. Here's how he explained it to a local radio station:

"What the President wants ... is the ambiance and the background and the life out here just as it is when our family is here . You sit down, no neckties, in a beautiful house looking over the sea and talk frankly without a lot of strap-hangers and note-takers."

"Strap hangers?"

The elitist arrogance of this family never fails to show itself, no matter how much they pretend to be cowboys. The former president and his son are from Milton, Massachusetts and New Haven, Connecticut respectively. They have not hung from straps all that much. You know who does that sort of thing?

People with jobs. People who go to work every day to make ends meet. People who ride the bus or the train to get to their place of employ, because they actually don't have a limo driver to haul their hungover DWI-having asses to the office.

If the former president was from New York instead of Massachusetts, he might have referred to working scum as "bridge and tunnel types." Fortunately, he had an equally denigrating term to use for people without trust funds.

This entire family has not one clue as to what 98% of the people in this country have to deal with on a daily basis. Anyone recall Barb's analysis of the refugees' situation in Houston after Katrina?

"So many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway, so this--this is working very well for them."

Yeah, living with 20000 others in the Astrodome has got to be an improvement over living in an apartment or home without a sloop for your yacht.

This is more proof to me that there is no god, or at least that there isn't one who gives a damn about the goings on around here. These people of faith, American royalty, who hold such disdain for the poor and those who work, and who make no effort to hide their true feelings...

If there was a god, it should have taken down that whole boat and snuffed out Putin in the bargain.

"Strap-hangers." Fuck you, your highness.

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posted at 11:39 AM

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Wednesday, June 27, 2007
What Say You?

Me? I like the Constitution. I think it is one of the greatest things ever written, and in the couple of centuries since it was put down, I have yet to see a nation anywhere on earth write a better founding document. It has been amended a few times, mostly to beneficial effect, although more idiotic proposals to "improve" it have been tossed around than I'd care to recall.

My guess is that most Americans, and even citizens of other countries can agree that it's a pretty superlative document. Flexible enough to give discretion to judges, while at the same time providing clear and sensible guidance. For example:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

Is that clear enough for you? We understand that yelling "Fire!" in a crowded theater endangers lives in a concrete way, so we file that under "inciting panic." Sensible. There is room for this sort of interpretation, and I'm confident that the founders understood and wanted it that way.

The Constitution also established that there would be three co-equal branches of government: The Executive, the Judiciary, and the Legislative. No branch would be able to go rogue without being reined in. Article II even went so far as to define the specifics of the branches:

The executive Power shall be vested in a President of the United States of America. He shall hold his Office during the Term of four Years, and, together with the Vice-President chosen for the same Term...No person except a natural born Citizen, or a Citizen of the United States, at the time of the Adoption of this Constitution, shall be eligible to the Office of President; neither shall any Person be eligible to that Office who shall not have attained to the Age of thirty-five Years, and been fourteen Years a Resident within the United States.

The 12th Amendment further clarified the requirements of office:

But no person constitutionally ineligible to the office of President shall be eligible to that of Vice-President of the United States.

The President is the head of the Executive branch. The Vice-President must meet all of the same requirements of office as the President, and has always been an obvious member of the Executive.

Until now.

Dick Cheney is now claiming that he, as VP, is not part of the Executive Branch of the US government. Because his duties include being president of the Senate in order to break tie votes once every couple of years, he has asserted that he is a member of the Legislative branch in order to skip out of a request for classified documents for archival purposes.

Please don't confuse this tactic with his repeated and nearly constant claims of executive privilege in order to avoid having to disclose information about policy meetings and the like. It might be easy to make that mistake, because the word "executive" appears in both "Executive branch" and "Executive privilege." Let me assure you that according to Mister Cheney, that is some sort of weird coincidence.

I just need to ask those who have defended the Vice President (an deliciously ironic title), what do you say now? How do you explain with a straight face this twisted perversion of the law? How do you defend this administration from so many egregious violations of our country's most sacred text? Can you honestly say that these men love our country? Can you possibly believe that what they do is in anyone's interest, save their own? And most curiously, why would you bother defending any of it?

Make me understand. Demonstrate that these many illegalities are somehow ethical. I don't want to believe that I live in a country being run by amoral criminals.

I will not leave. This is my country. I will not allow it to be changed to suit the whims of a short-sighted few. I would gladly stand before the entire country and shout these words:

I do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my Ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.

Defend the Constitution.

Not the office of the President. Not even the country. The Constitution. America means nothing if these words are allowed to be rendered meaningless.

Your defense of these men is partisan, and it is small. This is not about party, agenda, or ideology. It is about liberty, freedom, and the right to know what our leaders are doing. To want or expect anything less is, to me, un-American.

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posted at 7:50 PM

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Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Paul Wolfowitz

I can't believe I'm saying this, but Paul Wolfowitz got screwed.

This guy, one of the main architects of the failed Iraq policy, later named head of the World Bank, is not the kind of person I feel sorry for, and I can't say that I'm quite to that point. He's got a lot of blood on his hands.

But he just got screwed with his pants on.

When Wolfowitz was being considered for the World Bank gig, he informed the board that he had a relationship with someone already in the bank's employ, and wanted to go on the record so that there were no issues with impropriety. The board told him, no problem, we just have to fire her.

I should say that "her" is Shaha Ali Riza. She had been there for ten years.

This seems patently unfair, and Wolfowitz asked if the board would find her another job that would avoid a conflict of interest within the bank. He was told that he would have to do that himself.

No conflict of interest there, eh World Bank board of directors?

So, Wolfowitz follows the board's instructions, gets her a job that, given her tenure, she'd have probably gotten anyway, and now she's gone, and he's gone. He seems to have been up front about everything from before he started there, tried to avoid being involved in anything that had to do directly with Ms. Riza's department, and even asked for her to be considered for other work by neutral third parties. I'm really not sure what else he could have done to avoid all of this except to have not taken the job.

And that seems to be the point of all of this. Wolfowitz is a bad man, let's ruin his life, and his partner's in the bargain.

Nothing good has been done here. There is nothing whatsoever to be proud of. No wrongs have been righted, and no one has been avenged. Paul Wolfowitz got screwed.

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posted at 4:42 PM

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Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Jerry Falwell

So, Jerry Falwell has died. I will say, without reservation, that the world is now a better place.

People will tell you that it is wrong to speak ill of the dead, but I am not prepared for any fuzzy, soft-handed retrospectives into the life of this man. He simply does not deserve them. Jerry Falwell was an awful human being, and his death came decades too late by my reckoning.

Falwell was, quite simply, wrong about everything.

It's an astounding record, if you want the truth. You can look at almost any issue where he was on the record, and he was on the wrong side of it. I'm not even talking about political stuff necessarily, or abortion. I'm talking choices that should have been (and were) glaringly obvious to most people.

In 1965, when Falwell was in his thirties, he gave a speech criticizing Martin Luther King and the civil rights movement, which he cleverly referred to as "the civil wrongs movement."

Get it?

Regulars on his his TV show back then included well-known racists like Lester Maddox and George Wallace, and in 1958, in reference to the landmark desegregation Brown v. Board of Education decision, he declared, “If Chief Justice Warren and his associates had known God’s word and had desired to do the Lord’s will, I am quite confident that the 1954 decision would never have been made…. The facilities should be separate. When God has drawn a line of distinction, we should not attempt to cross that line.”

There is just nothing that warms the heart quite like divinely inspired bigotry. That may also explain his position on the Apartheid regime in South Africa. Where do you suppose he stood on this matter?

If you guessed "in favor of" give yourself a cookie.

During white minority rule, Falwell urged American Christians to buy Kruggerands in order to support the regime. Even fellow men of the cloth were not spared the loving hand of Falwell, as he called to Bishop Desmond Tutu a "phony." He later claimed to have misspoken, explaining he meant to call him a colored agitator who needs a-lynchin'.

All right, I made up just that last part.

Fine, he was a bigot, some people are raised that way. He was anti-gay, which again, in your personal life is your own business, but he used the bible to justify his fear. He was against public schools, trade unions, really believed the Clintons killed Vince Foster, was anti-free speech, was on the record with the assertion that when the Antichrist shows up, he will by necessity be a Jewish male. Let's not forget that he was terrified that one of the Teletubbies might be gay, and yet was close friends with disgraced minister Jim Bakker.

Wrong. About. EVERYTHING.

Let us go back a few years. It is only a couple of days after the events of September 11, 2001. The nation is still in shock, mourning the losses, and united like at no time since World War II. How would our great healers, our men of God help us make sense of these tragedies? Some tuned to Pat Robertson's 700 Club for guidance and understanding. Falwell was a guest, and offered this:

"I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People For the American Way, all of them who have tried to secularize America. I point the finger in their face and say 'you helped this happen.'"

He went on to add that he saw the attacks as God's judgment on America for "throwing God out of the public square, out of the schools. The abortionists have got to bear some burden for this because God will not be mocked."

All these years later, I read these words, and all I can think is what I thought back then: Fuck you, Falwell. Die.

Now he's gone, and I'm actually happy that he's dead. Someone else will take over his grotesque ministry, but hopefully it will lose some of its luster without the cult of personality surrounding Falwell. This was a terrible human being.

I don't believe in heaven or hell, but I almost hope Falwell was right, and I am wrong this time. I hope there is a place where awful, exploitative hatemongers are sent for an eternity of torture.

You've earned it, Jerry. You will not be missed.

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posted at 11:48 AM

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Monday, April 30, 2007
Look Who's Back

It seems that no one can stay away from the lure of the spotlight. Some people are famous for a little while, and then they drop off the radar. Not everyone can have a fifty-year career, like Peter O'Toole or Sean Connery. Although, judging by the cited examples, you ought to be from the UK if you crave longevity.

Bob Barker. I needed an American in there.

Someone once said that politics is show business for ugly people, and I wish it had been me. It's a great line, made all the greater by the truth of it. Like show business, most people in it don't stick around in politics for too long, which I attribute to the vast temptations of scandal that come with power. Of course, lots of people wield power without ever being elected, and those people are the best proof of the addictive nature of power.

Over the past twelve months, many retired generals have come forward to speak of their reservations about the war. Those on the left, especially before last year's midterm elections, were thrilled to have unimpeachable military figures speaking out against the war and the Bush administration's miserable inability to run it.

I was less thrilled.

Oh, sure, there was some relief in hearing that people in the know were saying what so many of us had suspected for a few years. But with so many dead and wounded over that period, saying "I told you so" was inappropriate, and furthermore, useless.

I wanted to know why these military leaders, the ones who have spent their lives training for war, fighting in wars, teaching and studying tactics for combat, why these people stood by while giddy dilettantes who shirked their duty during Vietnam, allowed the finest military in the world to be used in such a haphazard and pointless way.

And said nothing.

If even one highly-ranked military official had said, while still in Iraq, that the plan was flawed, that there was no apparent strategy, that American men and women were sacrificing so much in a conflict that we had no business fighting in, perhaps a meaningful dialogue could have started sooner. Saying the Titanic isn't unsinkable after you're already been rescued is meaningless.

Yes, you would have never been promoted again. Yes, you would have been removed from your command. And yeah, the Bush administration would have destroyed your reputation, as they value loyalty to the president over that to the soldiers, the country and especially the truth.

Which brings me to the new book by former CIA director, George Tenet.

The balls on me, to go after a Presidential Medal of Freedom winner.

Tenet is best remembered for his exclamation about the "fact" that Saddam Hussein has WMD. He called it a "slam dunk."

Four years later in his book, he claims that what he meant was that in regard to making a case that the public would believe, well, that was a slam dunk.

Like that's better somehow.

Tenet, in his recollection, was just a hapless guy who meant well, but got swept away in the feverish march to war by Neocons drunk on power. He was the head of the god damned Central Intelligence Agency, and knew the truth, but no one would listen to him.

And like these suddenly concerned retired generals, Tenet has found his voice. Too late, by several years, and thousands of lives.

If George Tenet had resigned and stated why in late 2002 or early 2003, the press might have found its collective balls, and done some actual investigative work that could have uncovered all of the lies and dissembling that the administration had been doing since September 11, 2001. But he didn't. Power and the limelight are tough to walk away from.

Not for everyone, though.

There is a man named John Brady Kiesling, a lifelong diplomat who was working for the State Department under Colin Powell during the run-up to war. In spite of the fact that he knew he was effectively ending his twenty-year career, he concluded his resignation letter to General Powell with the following paragraph:

"I am resigning because I have tried and failed to reconcile my conscience with my ability to represent the current U.S. administration. I have confidence that our democratic process is ultimately self-correcting, and hope that in a small way I can contribute from outside to shaping policies that better serve the security and prosperity of the American people and the world we share."

Was that so hard?

Actually, I'm sure it was. Keeping your mouth shut so you can stay with the team is relatively simple. Telling the President of the United States and his alleged brain trust of sycophants that they are taking this country down the path to a costly, quagmiric foreign policy nightmare is hard. I suppose that's why so few people bothered to do it.

George Tenet has found his voice, and just in time to sell a few books. I heartily encourage you to ignore it.

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posted at 12:18 AM

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Thursday, April 12, 2007
Right again, jackass

CBS fired Don Imus this afternoon.

"Free at last! Free at last! Thank God almighty, we are free at last!"

Great days are ahead, my friends, now that racism is over. Frankly, I'd be surprised if the Shiites and Sunnis didn't throw down their arms, get together, and sign a peace treaty with Israel.

Yes, anything is possible, now that Don Imus has been fired.

I have set my alarm for 5am tomorrow morning, in eager anticipation of seeing the sun rise in the west. If racism can be so easily overcome, then the other laws of nature should be toppling as well.

Perhaps GM and Toyota, in a burst of good feeling, will finally unveil the vehicle which will end our dependence on fossil fuels. Why shouldn't they? There is nothing holding any of us back from being the best we can be, now that Don Imus has been fired.

This is what it's all about. This is the Utopian future we have dreamed of.

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posted at 2:35 PM

2 comments

Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Imus


The most recent development in the story is that MSNBC, which televises Imus' morning show live weekday mornings, has gone beyond its initial two-week suspension, and has decided to dump the show from its lineup.

All of this is due to the reaction after Imus' comments last week about the Rutgers women's basketball team. By now, we've all been blasted again and again with someone or other recounting the phrase "nappy-headed hos." I think that this phrase is going to become a cultural touchstone for years to come, sort of like "You are the weakest link," "Whatchoo talkin' 'bout, Willis?" and "You forgot Poland."

When I first heard the clip, my reaction was that Imus had said something stupid and offensive, and it came off as a lame attempt at humor. Imus has certainly been in these waters before, although in his career, he has a had a lot more good moments than bad, and I don't say this as a fan of the show. I like some of his interviews with politicians and others, but by and large, I find it a bit dry. Imus is very good at what he does, it's just not for everybody.

I wasn't really offended by what he said, although I'll admit I was actually shocked to hear his producer, Bernard McGuirk, use the word "jigaboos." That's some old-school racist verbiage, there. Interestingly, in the non-stop feeding frenzy since then, I've heard no one on television repeat this part of the conversation. Now, they may be sparing our delicate sensibilities, but if "nappy-headed hos" is so awful, then I suppose it shouldn't be repeated ad nauseum, either.

Jigaboos. Christ.

I thought about that word, and was fairly sure I hadn't heard it since college, and that was in a history class.

African-American studies, if you must know.

Again, I was surprised when I heard it last week, and it started me thinking about the word. I suppose the be-all end-all of racist slurs is "nigger." That is just one of those things you say when you're pretty sure that you're ready to be punched in the face. It's not a word that I use, or even think of to use, to be honest. I understand the weight of it, and the baggage it carries. It's a shocking thing, and it ought to be. Unfortunately, it isn't anymore. I know I can turn on the radio in any city in America, and maybe anywhere in the world, and if I have the right station on, I will hear that word and many others like it in no time at all. And to be honest, it doesn't shock me in the least when I hear it.

Have I become desensitized to it? Has it lost its power through the constant use in certain musical circles? And is that a good thing somehow?

That's a separate topic, and besides, Imus didn't say "nigger." He didn't say "jigaboo" either. He called the women "nappy-headed hos."

And in a medium where Rush Limbaugh can refer to Barack Obama as a "Halfrican-American" and Neal Boortz can opine that a black US Congresswoman from Georgia looks like a "ghetto slut," it's hard to understand why Imus is in so much hot water.

It was a stupid attempt to make fun at their expense. Did they deserve it? No. Do most people who get skewered by deejays, pundits, talk show hosts and late-night comedians deserve it? All of them? Probably not.

But like the Bat signal from the Batman TV show (I suppose it could have been any brown mammal, in retrospect), the usual suspects have raced to the front of the fray, and they have been there often enough to remember to bring their own microphones.

The Revs, Jesse and Al.

I have spoken about Jesse Jackson before. This man was in the shit during the civil rights movement in the US in the 60s. This guy marched, protested, and put his life at risk time and time again to further the cause. He was standing with MLK on that damned balcony in Memphis when the doctor was assassinated. He was a legitimate candidate for president in 1988, and has a lot of good to his credit, more than me, and more than most.

Since '88? Not a hell of a lot. He tends to show up at places where racism or the old-boy network may be impacting maybe eight people. Wasting time protesting Major League Baseball for not having enough black employees in the front offices is a misuse of effort. Defending Michael Jackson as he faces child molestation charges destroys your credibility. You may have noticed that black males are dying at one another's hands in obscene numbers, and too many of the ones that live end up in prison.

And frankly, after you refer to New York City as "Hymie Town," you don't get to call anyone a bigot anymore. Sorry, that's just how it goes.

Sharpton, on the other hand, started badly, coming on the national scene as the point man in the Tawana Brawley fraud, but since then has gotten his hair together, dumped the velvet warm-up suits and gold medallions, become respectable, and a man of consequence in political circles by speaking the truth. In the 2004 campaign, he was the only candidate who seemed to be speaking English at the debates. I like Al.

But he cannot resist the lure of the big takedown, be it Michael Richards, or Don Imus. I don't recall seeing him or Jesse hovering around the Mel Gibson circus, but I suppose they may have been busy that week.

This gets into what Bill Maher has aptly referred to as "fake outrage." I couldn't possibly put it any better than that.

You know who doesn't get to be outraged by what Imus said? Anyone who owns a 2Pac or 50 Cent CD. You've heard black women degraded, and danced along to it. You need to shut the fuck up.

It's not absolutely relevant to the issue, but I would like to know if any of the women on the Rutgers team had even heard of Don Imus before last week. I would also like to know if any of them had anything on their individual iPods that could be considered offensive in the same way as Imus' remarks.

And if so, do you hear it differently now? I hope so, I really do.

I feel bad for these women. They didn't deserve this. They play a game at a world-class level, they are students at a good school, and not one of them probably ever dreamed she'd be famous for something like this. If they have injured feelings, I am sorry for that.

But hurting your feelings is not a criminal offense.

This is nothing less than a free speech issue. Don Imus can say anything he wants, this is America. If the Klan gets permits to have a rally in the park because they meet all the conditions in order to obtain them, then the Klan gets to march. I can choose to not listen to Imus, or not attend the rally if I desire. I can call the President of the United States a sonofabitch, and there's not one thing anyone can do about it. My friends might shun me, and I may get kicked out of the NRA, but that's part of the equation. Free speech has consequences.

Imus may lose his audience, his sponsors may pull their ad budgets, and CBS Radio may decide after those things happen that he's no longer a commodity worth keeping. If they can him then, it's a business decision, and that's how it ought to be.

Firing Imus because he went over the line and hurt someone's feelings is cowardice.

If I was a betting man, I'd wager that CBS will cave, just as NBC did, and send Donny off to his ranch. No one has any balls anymore, and it's better to put out a mediocre product than to occasionally stir up controversy. They fired Dan Rather over those memos about Bush's AWOL time during Vietnam, even though everything that was in these faked memos was 100% true.

CBS. The Tiffany Network. What a joke.

Tiffany. That sounds like a nappy-headed ho's name, but that's just my opinion.

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posted at 11:42 PM

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